


Sun sets on the graves

by ChickenXD



Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: Cult Ending, Dreams, Hallucinations, Hurt/Comfort, Investigations, M/M, Police
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-12-10 06:31:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11686002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChickenXD/pseuds/ChickenXD
Summary: Detective Saul Graves investigating random deaths happening around Maple Bay. On the way he found Robert and currently he's the only lead he has.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello i was inspired and Shook by this: http://coefore.tumblr.com/post/163576165126  
> i can't believe i was not told of this ship immediately. joseph who

Slow night here at Jim’s and Kim’s. 

Saul’s sitting at the bar, drinking some beer. He knows he’s probably not supposed to drink, since this is all part of an investigation, but hell, he’s gone through the trouble of dressing as a ‘civilian’ and driving all the way here to the other side of town. Might as well drink a glass of beer to make the disguise more… ‘realistic’.

Nothing seems out of place… right now. But you never know when trouble’s going to come up – and that’s why Saul’s here tonight.

...not really. Again, he’s just going through an investigation. If a fight suddenly breaks out among the bar patrons he’ll just call his friends to deal with it. 

 

“Haven’t seen you in a while, Saul.”

“You know, been busy,” Saul replies casually. 

“Am I in trouble?”

“Come on, Neil, you, out of all people?” Saul gives a heart laugh as he shakes his head, “You’re the nicest guy I know.”

Neil smiles and nods slowly, appreciating the compliment.

 

“Hey, big guy.”

Saul feels a hand land on his shoulder, and turns to look – a lady is standing next to him. She has long brown-hair and she’s wearing a brown sweater – a small silver cross dangles on the necklace.

“Good evening, ma’am.”

“Geez, you sound so uptight,” she sighs, “What, are you with the feds?”

“Why yes, ma’am, indeed I am.”

Saul flashes his biggest, most douchey smile – he’s learnt over the years, that by doing this smile, people usually take him a lot less seriously. He can see that it’s working this time, because soon enough the lady went from studying him warily to laughing so hard she’s holding her stomach. Saul starts to laugh with her too, to play along.

“Get a load of this guy, Robert!”

Saul notices that a man sitting at the other side of the bar turns to look at them. He stares at Saul for a second, then sighs and starts walking to them. 

So this is Robert, Saul notes in his head. He’d say Robert is just  _ slightly _ older than him, or he could be one of those people who are so stressed they age quicker. He looks unkempt, though, with his tousled hair and stubbly chin. He looks like he could be from the “tough side of town”. 

“Care to buy me a drink, then?”

“No problem,” he turns to Neil, “I’ll get this lovely lady’s tab.”

“Aww, that’s so nice of you!” she pats his back, “Then I’ll have another glass of wine.”

Neil pours it for her, and soon enough she saunters off the counter, leaving Neil and Saul alone. Saul watches as she approaches Robert, and they start chatting – he can’t quite hear about what, though. 

“Who’s Robert?”

“Her drinking buddy,” Neil replies, “He’s here all the time.”

Saul nods. He looks familiar, for some reason…

“Give me his full name?”

“Oh, god. I know it’s a weird one.” Neil sighs as he looks up at the ceiling, trying to remember – “Small? Robert Small? I may be wrong, though.”

 

Before long, Saul notices that his beer glass is already empty. Neil silently gestures, asking if he wants more, but Saul shakes his head.

“Done for the night?”

Saul looks up as Robert slides into the seat next to him. His glass is empty. 

“My son’s waiting for me at home,” Saul replies, “Just came here to relax for a bit, you know.”

“You’re boring.”

Neil pours more whisky for Robert, and he downs it all in one go, Saul’s almost concerned – but can’t blow his cover. 

Saul notices a tattoo peeking out from under Robert’s left sleeve. It’s placed around the bottom of his thumb, and it’s in the shape of… the sun with a dot in the middle. 

He’s seen that before. 

“So,” Robert turns to him, “You with the feds?”

“No, no.” Saul laughs – “It’s a fun joke I do every once in a while. Especially with teens, if they try to start shit with my boy.”

“You need a better joke with Mary, huh?”

Saul just smiles. He notices now that Robert’s looking him over, clearly sizing him up. 

“I mean, you kind of look like it,” he says, “You’re a strong, big guy. You can probably crush me to death.”

Robert sighs to himself, “Better not start shit with your son, indeed.”

“Well, I used to be in better shape, but thanks.”

“Being a dad and all that, huh?”

Saul gives his best dad laugh, and he can see Robert smiling, too. 

“You got a kid yourself, Robert?”

“She’s moved out now.” Robert sighs, “Yeah.”

Saul nods slowly. Sounds like he doesn’t want to talk about it. 

Robert gets up suddenly, and lightly taps Saul’s shoulder, gesturing for him to come with him. Saul pays their tab and leaves. 

 

He finds Robert outside, already walking down the road. Saul’s got his car parked somewhere, but Robert looks like he needs company and they’d get more talking time if they walk, too. 

“I live right there,” Robert said as he points at a row of houses arranged in a circle down the road. 

“Looks like a pretty nice area.”

“One of the neighbors just mysteriously killed himself.”

Saul turns to Robert, “Really?”

“I mean, I don’t know him that well. Nobody in the neighborhood does,” Robert explains, “He used to hang out with us, but after his son left for college he became more… withdrawn? And one day he went hiking and they found him dead three days later. Say it’s suicide.” 

Robert sighs and shakes his head. 

“I mean, an isolated case like that… it could be anything,” he said, “Bears, wolves, maybe the Dover Ghost…”

Dover Ghost? Saul’s never heard of that one before. 

But yes, indeed, this is the case Saul came here to investigate, because nobody really knows what the cause of death is. Robert just now said suicide, but he never read that in any of the case reports – probably speculations, word of mouth. Sometimes people can’t help themselves. 

They stop in front of a house – what Saul can only assume is Robert’s. Robert points at another house, that has no lights on. 

“Poor guy used to live there.”

Saul just nods. 

They’re both quiet now, just staring at the house. 

“...you know,” Robert was first to break the silence – “I know you said you have a son waiting, but maybe you wanna come inside?”

“Oh…”

Uh… what kind of invitation is this? Saul can’t really picture Robert inviting him in for tea, and he seems pretty drunk. Is he trying to…? But on the other hand, it seems very unprecedented…

“I think I should go home. Maybe another time, Robert?”

“Sure, sure.” Robert pats him on the back before he turns around, “See you around…”

Robert stops then, realizing he didn’t even bother asking his name. 

“What’s your name?”

“Saul.”

“Like the drug lord, or something?” Robert joked as he unlocked his door, and Saul can’t help but smile – 

“His lawyer, actually.”

“Close enough,” Robert shrugs, “See you around.”

“Have a good night, Robert.”

  
  


Saul comes home to see Barry sitting on the couch, a mug of what has to be hot chocolate in his hands – he’s watching TV, while he has his notebooks scattered on the coffee table. There’s also a girl in pink overalls sitting next to him, eyes staring at the TV intently.

“I’m home.”

“Hey, pops.”

“Oh!” she turned around to him, “Hello, Mr. Saul?”

“Hi, Carmensita,” he greeted back, “You guys ate dinner?”

“Mat brought us some sandwiches,” Barry replied without looking away from the TV, “Did you eat anything other than donuts?”

“No, I’m gonna eat now.”

He can’t help but watch the TV as well as he walks around to the kitchen. The two kids always gather at his house to watch this show every Thursday night, right when a new episode drops. He’s not quite sure what the show’s about, but it looks like a true crime show? 

Well, he’s a detective; he’s not too surprised that’s the kind of thing Barry wounds up being interested in. He even said he wants to join police academy, although that’s something to worry in a few years…

He sees a few aluminium foil wrapped sandwiches in the fridge – all of them has the Coffee Spoon’s stickers on it. He picks one up and tries to see if they have any label indicating what’s inside – well, apparently not. He unwraps it and just starts eating. 

“Oh no oh no!”

His eyes turn to the screen as he hears Carmensita’s shouts – he sees two guys fighting on the screen; oh, now one of them has grabbed a knife – suddenly a woman comes into the room, trying to stop them, maybe?

“What!” “Wait, isn’t she dead?”

Saul starts eating the sandwich as he turns on his laptop. 

Oh, it has chicken inside. 

Robert Small, huh? 

Looks like he’s had brushes with the law, alright, although nothing too serious. Mostly DUI, a couple misdemeanor cases, destruction of public property… he went to jail for some of them, it seems.

“Will! Fuck this!” “Bitch get up! Run away!”

“Language, you two!”

“Holy shit, pops, you need to watch this to understand!” Barry shouts back, “Girl! Girl I said run away why the fuck are you still walking to him–”

They both scream, and Saul looks up just in time to see a man slit a girl’s throat, with blood spilling all over the floor.

“...you guys need to stop watching these shows where white guys kill people.”

His comment seems to fall on deaf ears, though. The two kids cover their eyes with their hands for a minute, waiting for it to be over – but then they’re sitting back up, continuing to watch the show intently. Saul just sighs as he starts considering whether he needs to renew his subscription next month.

He sees the same man who just killed the girl put on a coat and walk out into the rainy night. Ominous, for sure…

...and then the credits roll. 

“Okay, okay,” Barry said as he got up from the kitchen and walks to them, “That’s it. Barry, you need to do your homework.”

“Wait, pops, they probably have an after credits scene!”

Saul sighs as he sits between them. Barry’s right – after the credits are done, it shows the same man, drinking some juice an airplane, with a lady sitting next to him. 

And then it cuts to black.

“What the fuck!” “Ohhh!”

“Okay, done,” Saul says as he turns off the television. “Honestly though, kids, white guys get away with shit all the time. Nothing new about that.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

Saul eventually figured out he might need to see Robert again. Maybe even actually follow him home this time and try to search for clues, maybe.

His investigation’s coming up on a dead end, and no matter how hard he and his team searches, there simply are… no more clues or leads. All he could really think of is Robert’s hand tattoo, the sun with the dot thing.

He’s not sure why either. There are markings of the same symbol on the trees in the forest where the victim was found. Does it mean anything special, he can’t be sure yet.

Heck, maybe Robert did the killing. Why else would he have that tattoo?

But nothing certain yet, and he definitely can’t arrest the wrong guy. Right now Robert’s just a potential witness.

 

So, back at Jim’s and Kim’s.

Saul walks in to find Robert already sitting by the counter, drinking some whisky. Saul casually sits down next to him, and he looks up.

“Look, Neil, it’s a cop.”

Robert breaks into laughter while Neil, who knows the truth, just forces a nervous smile. Saul laughs along as he pats Robert on the back.

“The lady’s not here today?”

“Mary?” Robert asks, “Nah, she’s got something to do. Charity work or something.”

Oh? She doesn’t look like the kind, Saul thought. But anyway, that’s not too important right now.

“What do you wanna drink?” Robert asks, “Whisky?”

“Sure, why not.”

Neil pours a glass accordingly, and slides it over to Saul.

“Oh, come on, Neil, give him more.”

“No, it’s alright. I can’t drink too much anyway.”

“Come on,” Robert scoffs, “You a lightweight, man?”

“Just trying to watch my health,” Saul replies, and Robert seems to like that explanation, since he’s smiling.

“God, I haven’t met someone as boring as you in years.”

Robert raises his glass, prompting Saul to clink glasses with Robert’s.

“It’s a good night for bad decisions, don’t you think?”

Saul just watches in horror as Robert casually downs five or six shots in one go. He slams the last one on the counter with a heavy sigh. Meanwhile Saul has got two sips in.

“Ohh that feels good.”

Saul’s just thinking about the heartburn he’d get attempting that. Also he’d probably be throwing up.

“You know…” Robert points at his left eye, “Where did you get that cool scar from?”

Ah, Robert must be asking about the small scar across his left eye. It’s healed over the years, but if you really pay attention, it does leave a faint white mark.

“Got it in a brawl,” Saul replies, “Nothing to be proud of.”

“Hey, tell me more,” Robert says, “Looks really cool.”

“You know, me and my wife, we’re just hanging out at the bar,” Saul explains, “It was a long time ago, before we had Barry.”

Saul can’t help but notice that Robert’s leaning closer to him, clearly getting invested in the story. He nods, encouraging Saul to go on.

“So suddenly this drunk guy starts attacking a kid in the bar. I guess this kid looks like someone who owes him money or some shit,” he continues, “It wasn’t looking good for the kid, so I get between them, alright, try to calm the drunk guy down, and suddenly he has a knife, man. He tried to go for the kid, but since I was between them, he got me instead.”

“Holy shit.” There’s a hint of awe in Robert’s voice.

“Lucky he just got my eye, though,” Saul said, “Definitely could’ve been worse.”

“Man, you’re such a cool guy!”

Saul smiles and gives a little nod, “Thank you.”

“Hey Neil!” Robert calls, “Get me another round!”

Saul watches uncomfortably for the second time as Robert downs five more shots of whisky, slamming each glass on the table once he’s done. He’s definitely concerned, but Neil seems to be cool about it, so maybe Robert’s just a heavy drinker.

Suddenly he got up from his seat, and tugs slightly on Saul’s coat.

“Come on, let’s get some food.”

 

Soon they’re walking down the street. Saul’s quietly amazed at how well Robert’s carrying himself – he doesn’t seem drunk, although clearly he’s had a lot to drink and definitely shouldn’t be allowed to drive. His main mode of transport seems to be walking, though, so that’s a relief.

“Where are we going?”

“Well, I’m gonna stop at a liquor store first,” Robert replies, “Then we’re going to this place with really good pie.”

“Sounds good to me.”

Robert turns to look at Saul, and smiles. Saul’s not too sure why, but he seems genuine.

“Got any more of that wild in you?”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Come on, Saul, unwind a little,” Robert said, “You don’t have to act so tough around me.”

They stop in front of a liquor store. Robert points inside, gesturing to ask if Saul wants to come with him, and Saul shakes his head.

“You don’t want anything?”

“I think I’m good.”

“Be right back.”

 

Saul scans the area while he waits for Robert. It’s a nice, quiet place, not a lot of people out at this hour, and those who are out don’t look like they’re looking for trouble either.

Saul takes out his half empty pack of cigarettes and lights one up right as Robert walks out of the store with a bottle of wine inside a brown paper bag.

“So you like white wine too?”

“You got a problem with that?”

“...not really.”

Saul smiles – so there is another side to Robert, after all.

Robert takes a swig of the wine straight out of the bottle, and offers it to Saul, who, again, shakes his head.

“You said you’re trying to stay healthy but smoke?”

“You got a problem with that?”

“The duality of man,” Robert jokes as they start walking again. “Can I have one, though?”

Saul wordlessly takes one out of the box and hands it to Robert. Robert places it between his lips, then lets Saul light it for him. Robert takes a long drag before pursing his lips to huff the smoke into the night air.

Saul finds himself staring. It’s just… something about the way Robert carries himself intriguing to him – he too, acts tough and brash, like he doesn’t really give a shit, but he can almost sense some sort of melancholy in it. It’s like he’s trying to put up an invisible wall around him to mask his vulnerability…

“Robert!”

Robert turns to the voice, and Saul notices that Robert’s expression quickly sours. Saul sees a blonde white man in a pink shirt walking towards them, waving at him.

“Oh, hey.”

“Hey, Robert, still up at this time?” he asks, before turning to Saul and readily offering his right hand – “Pleasure to meet you. I’m Joseph Christiansen.”

“Nice to meet you. I’m Saul Graves.” Saul shakes his hand, “Friends, I suppose?”

“Yeah! Robert and us actually live next to each other.”

Robert just gives a grunt as he nods. Clearly Robert doesn’t like him, huh?

“You guys just came from the bar?”

Robert just nods.

“Yeah, we’re just talking a walk around the neighborhood. Lovely weather tonight.”

“Yeah! I just came back from a church meeting, actually,” Joseph replies, and Saul suddenly understands Robert’s resentment towards this man. “Just going to head home now to put my kids to bed.”

“I see, I see.” Saul smiles and nods, “Well, you have a good evening with your family, Joseph.”

“Thanks! And you two have a fun night out!”

Saul waves at Joseph as he walks away. As he turns to Robert, he notices he’s sulking.

“The holier than thou kind, huh?”

“He’s worse than that,” Robert said as he grabbed Saul’s arm, “You’re a smooth talker, Saul.”

 

The pizza place is tucked away in the corner of an alleyway. They don’t have a lot of customers at this hour, but there are still quite a few people standing around there, eating their pizza.

Robert orders a pineapple and chicken pizza, and since all the seats around the shop are occupied, Saul just sits on the curb while waiting for him. Saul finished his cigarette, and presses it against the road to extinguish it.

“Alright, alright!”

Robert sits down next to him, and opens the box of pizza. The sweet and savory smell explodes immediately as Robert opens the box. Ohhh, it smells like heaven.

“Come on, Saul, let’s eat!”

Robert takes another gulp of his wine, before tearing off a slice from the perfect circle and shoving it into his mouth. Saul too, takes a slice and starts eating.

“You know those fancy ass food shows where they walk about what kind of wine goes with what food, like steak, salmon or some shit?” Robert asks, “Chicken pineapple pizza and white Zinfandel. Name a more iconic duo, man.”

“It is really good pizza,” Saul comments calmly, “I should bring Barry here sometime.”

They continue eating in silence. Robert eats quickly, chugging the wine every few bites and wiping the grease on his fingers on his jeans – while Saul’s calmer, slowly savoring every bite he takes. Soon enough Robert’s finished his half of the pizza, and chugs what’s left in the wine bottle to wash it all off. Gee, watching Robert eat makes Saul feel like _he’s_ gonna have a heartburn.

Robert tosses the empty bottle into the nearest trashcan before turning to Saul.

“You mind if I have another smoke?”

Saul takes his packet and lighter out of his coat pocket and hands it to Robert. He places a cigarette between his lips and lights it up.

It’s nice and peaceful. There’s a soft murmur coming from the small crowd behind them, but otherwise it’s silent. The smoke Robert puffs from his mouth slowly dissipates – it looks like it momentarily lights up the night sky, then slowly fades away.

Robert starts mindlessly picking up a few small rocks on the side of the road and throwing them against the walls – sometimes he hits the trash cans, and the rocks make a loud clink that echoes in the dark. This activity seems to bore Robert after a few minutes, though.

“You ever kill a man, Saul?”

“What’s this, all of sudden?” Saul asks, “Trying to find dirt on me?”

Robert sighs, “It’s a yes no question, man. Why are you getting nervous? Huh?”

Robert inches closer to him, furrows his brows to make a more serious expression, “Well, you have, haven’t you?”

“That's a secret.”

Robert maintains glaring suspiciously into Saul’s eyes although their faces are just inches away – and Saul, too, just stares at him calmly, quietly hoping it looks cool.

Suddenly Robert’s face softens into a smile, and a few seconds later he doubles over and burst out laughing, while playfully slapping Saul’s back.

“Look at you talk, Saul!” Robert remarks between his laughs, “You’re such a clown!”

Saul can’t help but smile upon seeing his friend’s reaction, although… it probably isn’t the right one. Maybe Robert is _that_ drunk after all the wine and whisky, who knows.

“Real funny!” Robert keeps saying between his breaths, “The way you say it like it’s totally true, too!”

It is, though…

Saul decides to not stop him, though, because… well, let the man be happy. Hopefully nobody else heard them, though.

Robert slowly stops laughing, and rests against Saul’s shoulder as he lets out a long sigh.

“You’re a weird guy, Saul.”

“I hear that a lot.”

“But I like you.”

Saul wraps his arm around Robert’s shoulder and pulls him closer.

“Yeah, I think you’re a pretty pleasant guy too, Robert.”

Robert chuckles as he closes his eyes and buries his face into Saul’s shoulder.

He seems comfortable.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT CUTIES!!!!! i am Blessed with this art http://pikadoodle.tumblr.com/post/163858663250/


	3. Chapter 3

“Urrrghh…”

Robert slowly stirs awake – he feels his head pounding, and he feels like he was just in a tornado or something and he’s going to throw up soon. 

He slowly opened his eyes and rolled over so that he’s lying on his stomach. He tries to pull the blanket over his head, so that he doesn’t need to face the sun–

Wait, this blanket smells… different. 

He opens his eyes to look at it – he can see that it’s a red and yellow plaid blanket. He doesn’t own a blanket like that…

He quickly gets up and looks around the room. The room’s clean – no empty bottles of alcohol scattered on the floor, no lingering smell of alcohol around, no dirty clothes – instead there are some movie posters on the wall, and there’s a bookshelf with some nicely stacked books and a display of action figures. 

This is definitely not his room. Wait, but where, then?

He first takes a look at himself. He’s still pretty much wearing what he was wearing last night, except his leather jacket is gone. 

He walks out of the room and sees a teenager sitting on the sofa watching TV, and he seems to immediately be aware of Robert’s presence. He quickly pauses the show and gets up. 

“Oh hi!” he greeted, “Good morning.”

“Who the hell are you?”

“My name’s Barry. I’m Saul’s son.”

Saul’s son? 

Robert squints as he looks at Barry closely – they have the same dark skin, crew cut hair, and serious eyes. No glorious facial hair like his dad yet, though. 

“How did I end up here?”

“I don’t know. I think you were drunk, cause pops carried you here last night.”

Jesus, was it that bad? Robert feels like he didn’t even drink that much. 

“Robert, right?” Barry smiles and nods politely, “Let me get you something to eat.”

Robert walks over to the dining table while Barry puts together some pancakes and sausages for him. He takes out a glass from the shelf, and fills it with water. 

“Where’s Saul?”

“Off to work, of course.”

“So why aren’t you in school?”

“The seniors have tests and they don’t have enough room, so they gave us the next few days off.”

Barry places the food in front of Robert, and sits down across from him. Robert starts eating without saying anything else, while Barry just looks at him, somewhat confused but also in awe. Robert thought about telling him off because it’s getting a little awkward, but well, he is the guest in this house. 

“Hey, nice tattoo, dude.”

“Oh.” Robert sighs, looking at the tattoo on his left hand, “Sure, thanks.”

“You know, I kinda want a tattoo too,” Barry starts, “But like, it’s a commitment thing, you know? Like how once you put a bumper sticker on your car you’ll never get to peel it off. So I want the tattoo to be about something like, real meaningful. I want to be like, ninety and still think I have a pretty cool tat instead of regretting it.”

“How old are you, kid?”

“I’m fourteen.”

Wow, he sure looks and acts like he’s older, Robert thought. Kind of reminds him of Val, although for her it might stem from abandonment…

Robert sighs. Let’s not think about that right now. 

“Well, ultimately it’s your body, so it’s up to you.”

“What does yours mean, dude?” Barry asks, “Like, the sun? Or is it like a mystical eye?”

Robert sighs, “It’s… just a reminder.”

 

Thinks back to the times he spent at that godawful place. 

What he did was wrong, and he knew it. But it wasn’t in his power to stop what was happening to him. 

Tried to forget. 

Tried to not look  _ him _ in the eye. 

Tried to not stutter every time they talk, or make eye contact.

Tried to suppress his urge from telling someone what happened. Tried to bring himself to tell someone what happened. 

Tried to not think about how Marilyn would absolutely hate him for it. 

Tried to forgive himself, because he wasn’t in power to stop it. 

The guilt just pangs in his heart, echoes in his ears, haunts his dreams no matter how much he tried to drown it out. 

 

“...yeah.”

Barry can’t help but notice that Robert’s expression has darkened. Maybe it was something he shouldn’t have asked about… 

Oh no, now this is awkward. Barry quickly tries to think of some other topic to move the conversation along–

“Anyway, uh, if you’re free today, we don’t mind you staying here,” he said with a smile, “Pops said he’ll come back early today.”

“I don’t think I should give you guys any more trouble, so I’ll just eat and go,” Robert replies, “Thanks for watching out for me, though. Especially Saul.”

“Nah, man, that’s just how he is,” Barry sighs, “He’s a worrier. Like, always a little overprotective. If I’m not already home 5 minutes before my curfew, I’d have 10 phone calls in three minutes.”

“Really?” Robert asks, “He doesn’t really seem like the type.”

“I guess he’s seen some shit in his lifetime, and don’t want shit to happen to me,” Barry explains, “Guess that’s why he brought you home, too. It’s not the first time he picked up somebody and let them stay the night here.”

“He’s a good guy,” Robert said, “Not sure why he wants to hang out with me.”

“Nah, man, I think you’re pretty cool.”

Robert looks up at Barry, who’s smiling at him. He quietly thinks about Val, and how for her he might be the worst person ever to live on earth…

Robert just sighs and shakes his head. 

“You were watching TV, right? You can go back to it,” Robert said while picking at his food, “Don’t mind me.”

“Oh…” Barry nods as he gets up. Maybe Robert wants to be alone now. “Sure. If you wanna come watch with me after you’re done that’s cool too.”

Barry walks back to the couch and continues the movie. He picks up his phone which he left on the couch and noticed it had a few notifications – 

_ “What’s up” _

“Robert’s eating.”

_ “Ok. Don’t tell him” _

“He didn’t even ask, pops.”

It says read, so Barry puts his phone away. 

“Where do I put the dishes?”

“Just leave ‘em in the sink,” Barry replies. “There’s some coffee in the coffee machine if you want some.”

Barry hears the clink as Robert places his plate on the sink, and a few seconds later Robert’s walking over to him. 

“You wanna take a shower or something?” Barry asks, “You can borrow some of pop’s clothes, I’ll just tell him later.”

This reminds Robert that he hasn’t showered in… three days? Maybe four? 

He also knows that if he goes home now, once he gets there he’ll just continue sleeping until later in the afternoon, and then… go out and hit the bar again, maybe talk a walk in the forest later. Shower is definitely nowhere in his schedule. 

“Sure, why not.”

“I’ll find something for you to wear then,” Barry said as he gets up and walks into Saul’s room – which apparently is next to the room Robert was sleeping in. So that must’ve been Barry’s.

 

He looks around the bedroom while Barry rummages through the drawers. It’s a very tidy and clean room – the exact opposite of the current state of his room back at home. 

On top of the dresser there are a few books, an old CD player, with some Amy Winehouse CDs stacked on top of it. 

There’s just a couple picture frames hung on the wall – one is of Saul, Barry, and a woman he’s never seen before, and the other is of Saul and her on what Robert assumes is their wedding day. 

“Your mum?”

“She uh… died a few years back.”

“Ohh…” Robert sighs, “I’m… sorry for your loss.”

“No big deal,” Barry replies, “I mean, it’s been years now, and now that I think about it, it’s supposed to happen sooner or later.”

He tosses a light blue sweater and a pair of sweatpants to Robert. 

“If they’re too big I’ll find you something else, I guess?”

 

Robert turns the faucet, and immediately cold water starts pouring from the showerhead, hitting him right in the chest. He quickly backs off and starts to adjust the faucet so that the water’s a little warmer. 

Ahh, it feels nice and refreshing to take a shower, have water rain on his body... maybe he should do this more. 

 

...man, look at Saul and his… nice, boring family. 

Robert can’t help but feel a bit… envious, but at the same time, sad. 

He’s a good man, a good father. Look at how highly his son talks of him. Look at how he can keep everything together even without his wife. 

It’s not like Robert didn’t… try. He tried to cut off the alcohol, tried coming home earlier, tried to be there for Val. But the truth remains that Marilyn was the only one holding the family together, and after she’s gone, and Val’s gone, he just… no longer had a reason to get better. Now he’s just an empty shell for his rotting soul. 

Maybe he can try again. Val gave him her phone number, although they never ended up talking or anything. 

...but why would she forgive him? He’s been a horrible dad for her whole life, and Marilyn basically raised her by herself. Maybe Val doesn’t even remember him anymore, and trying to contact her would only reopen old wounds…

I should leave her be, Robert decides, that she’ll be fine on her own in Brooklyn. Why would she want anything to do with a good for nothing dad like him anyway?

  
  


The clothes are obviously too big for Robert – he ends up having to roll up the sleeves, and even then they keep falling down. The sweatpants are also a little too long, but he wears it anyway and tucks the rest of the sweater into his jeans. 

Still looks a little puffy on him, but whatever. At least it smells nice, and it feels great to wear new clothes after taking a shower. 

“Hey, Barry,” he calls as he walks out of the bathroom, “I think I should go.”

“You sure?” Barry asks, walking out of Saul’s room – “I’m not doing anything anyway, I don’t really mind if you wanna chill here.”

“I think I’m good, kid. Gotta go run some errands,” Robert replies, getting his leather jacket that was lying on the sofa, “Thanks for taking me in. Say thanks to your old man too.”

~•~

Robert sighs as he walks into Coffee Spoon. Mat’s behind the counter as always, making some coffee.

“Hey Robert,” he greeted, “You look different today.”

“Yeah, borrowed some clothes,” Robert replied. “What, do I look funny?”

“I mean, clearly they’re not your size, but it’s nice to see you in something different,” Mat replies, “Black coffee?”

“Sure. I’ll have the banana bread too.”

“Alright,” Mat replies, ringing it up. “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but who did you go out with last night?”

“That’s none of your business.”

Mat just smiles nervously. Man it is hard to start a conversation with Robert.

“I’ll get your coffee in a second.”

Robert sits down at his usual spot and looks out of the window. 

Wow, these clothes are… very soft. Robert’s pleasantly surprised at how nice they feel against his skin. He has to ask Saul where he got these from the next time they meet.

He raises his arm slightly so he can sniff the sweater. It smells faintly of detergent, but nothing else.

He notices Mat stealing glances at him, and glares back at him. He can see Mat flinch in surprise, before turning back to pour his coffee and acting like he didn’t see any of it. 

“Get off my case, Mat.”

“I mean, it’s nice to see you not be angry for once…” Mat turns to smile at him, “So... uh... I’m happy for you! And whoever your new friend is!”

“Yeah, right.”

Robert then thinks about how Saul probably wears this sweater a lot, too. He’d look pretty good in it; it’s very dad-like, but it’s a look that suits him. He should probably get Saul to wear this for him some other time… 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY SHIT YALL!!! LOOK http://coefore.tumblr.com/post/163806737176  
> CUTEST BOB I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY FUCKING LIFE THANKS COEFORE!!!


	4. Chapter 4

_ “Hello?” _

“Detective Saul Graves speaking.”

_ “This is Val, uh, Valerie Small. You left a voicemail for me earlier. Is my dad in trouble?” _

“No, please don’t worry about it, miss. I was just calling to ask you a few questions.”

_ “Look, he’s definitely not the most law-abiding citizen out there, so if he did something stupid, I’m really sorry about that. I have no problem if you’re going to put him in jail.” _

“I understand. The information you give me will not be used against Robert in any way.”

Silence hangs in the air – only broken as Val sighs.

_ “You’re scaring me, detective. What did he do?” _

“Nothing, miss. Again, I’m just calling to ask a few questions. If at any point you feel uncomfortable answering these questions for me, you can just tell me so. Robert is not in trouble.”

Val sighs again,  _ “...okay.” _

Saul pulls out a notepad and his pen. 

“When did your family move to Maple Bay?”

 

~•~

Saul takes out a cigarette from his pocket and lights it. 

He’s standing by his car, currently parked in the cul-de-sac in front of Robert’s house. 

The empty house of the victim is just across the street. He’s searched it a couple times himself, his other colleagues have been in and out of there for at least five times more – still no significant leads. Feels like the whole case is coming into a dead end, honestly. 

The house next to Robert’s is a big white country-style house. There are two kids… twins, maybe, playing outside. They seem to have paused their playing and turned to watch Saul, though. Saul waves at them, but they don’t respond. Okay…

Suddenly he hears the door click, and he turns to see Robert walk out of the house and lock it. He’s wearing his usual red shirt with black leather jacket and jeans. 

“Hey, big guy.”

“Hi Robert.”

“Oh, wait, I need to return your clothes,” Robert suddenly remembered, “I’ll go get it.”

“It’s no big deal,” Saul said, “You can just give it to me later when I drive you back.”

“You sure?”

Saul nods as he opens the door to the passenger seat – and Robert can’t help but smile. 

“Look at you, Saul – such a gentleman,” Robert teases as he seats himself – Saul just smiles back and closes the door before getting in on the driver’s seat. 

“Where are we going?”

“Somewhere.”

“Damn, Saul,” Robert sighs, “Am I gonna end up dead in a ditch by tomorrow morning? Or missing a kidney?”

“I think it’s a nice place,” Saul replies, “You’ll like it.”

“You and your secrets, Saul.”

Robert just smiles as he sinks into the car seat.

“Is this a date or somethin’?”

“If you like thinking of it that way, sure.”

  
  


They soon arrive at the ‘place’. 

It’s a spot on top of a hill, and you can see the entire city from here. It feels like looking down at a miniature mockup of the city, with all the colorful, blinking lights – you can barely see the cars, that just look like ants from up here – much less people. 

Next to where Saul has parked their car is a forest, so deep and dark, untouched by humans. It feels like they’re standing at the limits of civilization, next to the untamed natural world. 

 

“I never thought you like places like this?”

“I mean, why not?” 

“Don’t know,” Robert said, “Geez, looking at you makes me feel warm. Take off your coat or something.”

“But you’re also wearing a leather jacket.”

“Okay, take off the tie at least,” Robert said, deciding to take matters into his own hands and quickly undoing the tie – he takes it off and hands it back to Saul. 

“Undo the top button too, you look like you’re gonna choke,” Robert sighs, “What a nerd.”

“Why are you trying to pressure me into taking off various articles of clothing?”

Robert just gives him a knowing smirk. 

Saul does undo the top button though, slightly exposing his chest. Robert catches himself staring, and quickly looks away, blushing slightly. Hopefully Saul didn’t notice…

“Come on,” Saul said as he got out of the car. Robert watches as he opens the door to the passenger seats, and grabs a plastic bag and a six pack of beer. 

“Ohhh, this will be fun.”

They both walk towards the front of the car and sit down on the hood. Saul takes out two burgers, and hands one to Robert. 

“You’re a real romantic, Saul,” Robert teases as he opens the wrapping. 

“I can make it even better.”

“Yeah? Take your coat off.”

Saul gets up, and gets back into the car. Robert can see him connect his phone to the car or something, and then some music starts playing. 

Oh wait, Robert knows this song. Hell, everyone should know this song. 

“Careless whisper?” Robert laughs, “God, Saul, you’re such a cliché it’s not funny anymore.”

“Well, why are you laughing then?”

Saul takes off his coat and throws it to the backseat before rejoining Robert. He can see Robert’s trying hard to hold his laughter while eating. 

Well, it’s nice to see him laugh. 

  
  


Robert quickly finishes his burger, and washes it down with the beer. 

“Come on, Saul,” he says as he got up – Saul just watches him, waiting for what he’s going to do next. 

“Restart the song or something!” Robert said, “You’ve set the mood and all. We should dance.”

“I can’t dance.”

“And what makes you think I’m better?

Saul smiles as he gets up – “Fair enough.”

He replays the song, and blasts the car stereo up to its maximum. He waits for Robert to finish the rest of his beer before putting the bottle back in the holder. 

“Okay, let’s do this.” Robert places his hand on Saul’s shoulder, “And you’re supposed to put your hand like, on my waist.”

Saul places a hand on Robert’s waist, as directed, pulling him in closer in the process – Robert looks up to him, and seems surprised at how close they are to each other. 

“Right?”

“I think,” Robert said, and he takes Saul’s other hand. “And… this is all I know.”

“That’s fine,” Saul said as he starts moving along with the rhythm, so Robert just tries his best to keep up. 

“Pretty sure there are rules on how to step and stuff.”

“I think this is good enough.”

“We must look funny,” Robert comments, “You look like you just came straight from jury duty, and I look like… this.”

“It’s not like nobody’s looking,” Saul said, “Take it easy Robert, just have fun.”

It’s rather awkward at first, with the two of them still trying to follow the rhythm and also trying not to step on each other’s feet, but Saul can see that Robert’s eventually taking the “fuck it” approach and decides to just step around, as long as they’re still on rhythm. 

Also Robert probably stepped on him like, four times, but Saul decides not to say anything about it. 

He seems to be enjoying himself and Saul doesn’t wanna ruin the moment. Robert’s closed his eyes, trying to enjoy the music, and Saul can faintly hear him humming along–

They just keep going like this until, seemingly sudden, the music ends. 

They both stop, suddenly losing their guide, and just stare into each other’s eyes for a few seconds…

Robert’s the first to break eye contact, looking away, seemingly flustered. They’re still in waltz position, though…

“You know, I can go play the song again–”

“Fuck that, let’s just sing it,” Robert said, “How does it go again, uh…”

“I’m never gonna dance again,” Saul starts singing and swaying along – “Guilty feet have got no rhythm… uh…”

He pauses then, trying to think of the next verse – Robert waits for him for a few seconds, then starts laughing while patting his shoulder. 

“Man, we’re old!” he laughs, “But that’s fine. That was fun.”

“I can play it again.”

“Let’s just chill.”

Robert leans in, resting his head on Saul’s shoulder, and Saul instinctively holds him tighter. 

It’s nice and quiet. Just the sound of the night breeze, the rustle of the leaves in the forest, the warmth of their bodies pressed against each other. Feels comfortable, feels like home. 

Feels like they’re standing on top of the world and time has stopped – nothing can touch them; this moment, this feeling will last forever. 

“I can get used to this.”

Saul notices that Robert’s looking up at him, and leans down, pressing his lips against Robert’s. Robert doesn’t resist, doesn’t try to push him away – he raises his hand to cup Saul’s cheeks and kisses him deeper. 

  
  


“Have I ever told you about the one time I met the Dover ghost?”

Saul shakes his head. Robert picks up another bottle of beer and cracks it open. 

“I was camping alone. Right here, with my dog Betsy,” Robert begins, pointing at the forest next to them. “Pitbull. I’ve had her since she was a pup.

“Anyway, camping. I was just doing, you know, typical dad camping stuff. Fishing, building tents, playing catch with Betsy and stuff,” he continues, “So night falls, and I’m about to go to bed. I was just cleaning up food remains to make sure no bear comes at night and stuff. 

“And then suddenly I hear this…” Robert pauses, for dramatic event – “Like scraping sound. The kind of sound it makes when you drag metal through the ground.”

He turns to look at Saul, who seems to be listening attentively. Oh, Robert can’t wait to see his face when he tells him it’s all just a bluff. 

“I thought I was hearing things, alright, but then I know Betsy hears it too, cause she’s running to it. After a while I can see it in the distance – it looks… almost like a human, but wrong.”

“What do you mean, wrong?”

“Like… the arms and legs are too long; the arms look like they can reach the ground. Its eyes are all black,” Robert describes, “And I just remember hearing Betsy bark and howl at this thing, before she suddenly stops. I go into the direction she’s gone in – but I don’t see her anymore, or the ghost.”

Robert drinks more beer – again, dramatic effect. He can feel that Saul’s still looking at him, as if waiting for him to continue. 

“That’s it, man, that’s the story.”

“They never found your dog?”

Robert shakes his head. 

“I’m so sorry.”

Robert takes out his wallet and shows Saul a picture of a bulldog sitting by a red ball. 

“That’s Betsy.”

“A good dog, indeed.”

They spend the next few minutes in silence, as they stare at the distance together. Saul lights himself a cigarette, and offers one to Robert, but he shakes his head and drinks the rest of the beer. 

“Man, you really believed every word of it?”

“I mean…” Saul sighs, “I just wanted to see how the story goes. And you’re never supposed to dismiss potential evidence.”

“What?”

Robert turns to look at him, looking somewhat surprised. Saul stops then, realizing what he just said, and looks away, unable to meet Robert’s eyes. 

“Saul?” Robert calls, nudging his arm slightly, “Anything you wanna tell me?”

Saul thinks about this for a moment – it is something he eventually needs to tell Robert, although he definitely… didn’t plan it to be today. Damn, how could he let that slip? 

“Hey, big guy…”

“Yeah?” Saul decides to try to play it cool. Robert’s looking up at him, smiling slyly. 

“So did I just kiss a cop or what?”

Saul takes a long drag of his cigarette to... avoid talking. Robert keeps watching him though, clearly expecting an answer. There’s no getting out of this now, huh…

“...are you angry at me?” 

“Not really,” Robert replies, “Didn’t take your for a liar, that’s all.”

  
  


They’re both silent on the way home. 

Robert just stares out of the window while drinking his beer from time to time, while Saul focuses on driving carefully. 

It feels tense; the silence feels suffocating.

Robert hasn’t commented much on him being a cop – didn’t pry into what he actually does and all that. Did that fact come as a surprise to him? Saul can’t tell. 

Saul wants to explain himself, but as things are right now, he can’t really tell what Robert is thinking, whether or not he’ll want to hear an explanation. He did say he’s not angry, and Saul can see a little smile on his face, but he might just be hiding it. 

Maybe he shouldn’t have lied on day one and straight up tell him he’s investigating the bizarre deaths, but that would definitely make Robert avoid him. 

But now that they’ve got a… somewhat established relationship, he too feels horrible for suddenly pulling the rug from under Robert. 

How would he feel if he’s in Robert’s position right now? If someone he trusts, thinks of as a friend, turns out might be someone who can easily turn on him?

 

All the thinking sure makes the trip feel short, because suddenly they’re already in front of Robert’s house.

“Thanks for taking me out.”

Saul nods. Robert’s still smiling at him. 

“You know, I have no idea what you’re investigating and stuff,” Robert said, “But…”

“I’m not trying to catch you.”

“Well, that’s good to know,” Robert replies. “What I’m trying to say is…”

“No, no, please don’t say it,” Saul wants to stop him – but he just bites his lip and waits. He’s fucked up and now this is his pay. 

“...you should probably… forget about me or something,” Robert said with a heavy sigh, “I won’t be of any help in your investigation anyway.”

“Robert, that’s not why I…”

“I know, I know,” Robert stops him, “I’m just saying.”

“If you just don’t want to see me ever again, that’s fine,” Saul said, “But don’t say things like, ‘forget about me’.”

“I deal with a lot of shit, Saul, and I don’t want you to get caught up on it, okay?” 

“Robert…”

Saul reaches his hand over to hold Robert’s hand, but Robert suddenly slaps him away. 

“Don’t fucking touch me!”

Saul backs off slightly as Robert yelled at him. 

Robert just sighs as he glances at Saul one last time, and got out of the car.

  
  
  
  


Robert locks the door behind him and sighs. 

He glances out of the window just in time to see Saul drive away. 

Well, there’s that. 

...the house feels empty and cold.

He sits down on the sofa, and immediately something catches his eye. 

It’s Saul’s sweater and pants; he’s washed it and did his best to iron out the wrinkles.He was supposed to return it when Saul drops it off home, but well, with everything that happened…

He holds the sweater close and wraps it around his body. It feels warm…

...well, he was the one who told Saul to fuck off, but he’s missed him already. God, and to think he might never see Saul again after this...

...if he closes his eyes and dreams hard enough, it feels like Saul’s hugging him. 

 


	5. Chapter 5

Saul adjusts the holster across his chest, and inserts his gun into it. He places his body cam on his shirt pocket, checks that he’s carrying enough ammo. He doesn’t expect to use his gun, but it’s nice to have them, just in case. 

“Watson, Watson, come here.”

Saul opens the backdoor, and lets out a big German Shepherd dog. The dog stands still on the ground as Saul puts a leash on him, and tightens it. 

“Good boy,” Saul says, petting the dog’s head. “Let’s go.”

They start walking into the forest. 

 

He doesn’t really know what to do with Robert’s story, but it’s not like he has better leads for the case. I mean, ghosts are definitely not real, and Robert also said he’s bluffing, but… this is the forest where they found the bodies. 

Saul turns on his flashlight as he walks, with Watson in front of him. He carefully treads, following a faint trail on the ground and scanning the area around with his flashlight. It’s just dark around – he can faintly hear the hoots of the owls rustles of leaves as small animals move around in the dark. 

Nothing strange so far, it seems. Watson’s not barking or sniffing anything.

Maybe they’re not going to find anything. Well, that would be… disappointing, but kind of a relief, actually. It’s not like Robert is the most reliable source of information – hell, he admitted that himself.

He’ll call this off maybe in an hour. It is getting pretty dark.

 

Suddenly Watson stops walking, and starts sniffing around the ground, and turns to Saul to bark.

“You smell something?”

Watson once again planted his nose on the ground, and followed the smell. Saul looks around him to see if anything around them has changed – the trees look exactly the same, and right now he can’t hear any animals coming near them.

Well, this is a forest. There are things around that might suddenly trigger Watson’s response, even if as a false alarm – maybe some wild mushrooms that happen to smell funny or the smell of a dead animal…

Hopefully it’s nothing serious, and just false alarm. Saul feels his gun just to make sure it’s still there, though. 

Watson stops walking, and suddenly starts barking loudly at… something. Saul points his flashlight in the general direction Watson’s barking at, but he can’t see anything. Maybe Watson senses an animal nearby or something?

“Okay, then, let’s not go that way,” Saul says, tugging on Watson’s leash – “Come on, Watson–”

Suddenly he hears it, too.

A low growl in the distance; the shrill sound of metal scraping on the ground. 

Saul quickly points his gun and flashlight in that direction – but he just sees darkness among the trees. But the scraping sound keeps getting louder…

Watson’s still barking at it – if anything, he seems to be getting more aggressive.

Didn’t Robert say that it looked like a shadow, too? Maybe that’s why he can’t see anything...

Watson keeps barking, and this time around it seems almost eager to chase whatever it is he’s barking at, although Saul doesn’t think that’s a good idea. He carefully takes a step forward, though, since Watson keeps insisting on going forward–

  
  


“No!”

Robert wakes up with a start.

He’s… sitting on his couch in his living room. He must have fallen asleep here. He’s even still holding onto Saul’s blue sweater.

No, no, this doesn’t feel right. What was that earlier? He was in the forest, following behind Saul…

Is it all a dream? Damn, it feels too real; it feels like he was forced in there, and forcibly pulled out of there…

Saul… it’s not real is it? He didn’t really go in there by himself like that, right? He might be a policeman and all, but still–

“Good morning!”

Robert quickly turns around to the voice, and he sees Joseph sitting on his dining table, casually drinking some coffee – Joseph smiles and waves at him. 

“Had a good night’s sleep?” he asks, “Want some coffee?”

“How the fuck did you get in here?”

“Well…” Joseph sighs as he gets up, “I suppose I’ll take my leave…”

Robert walks over to Joseph and grabs him by the collar, pushing him to the nearest wall. Joseph lets out a gasp as his head bangs against the wall, but as he looks at Robert, he’s still smiling.

“You keep him out of this,” Robert hisses, “Leave Saul alone.”

“Who’s Saul?”

“Don’t fucking play dumb!” Robert yells, tightening his grip on Joseph’s shirt. He feels his blood boil when Joseph just reacts by… forming a little smirk on his face.

Robert takes out the knife out of his pocket and is just about to stab Joseph with it, but Joseph quickly catches his hand.

“When was the last time you cared this much about someone, Robert?”

“That’s none of your fucking business.”

“Why would I stay away from him, Robert?” Joseph asks, “It’s true that I made a mistake of ever trying to engage with him, but now that’s just better reason for me to get rid of him as soon as I can.”

Robert keeps pushing his hand down, trying to drive the knife just somewhere in Joseph’s body, just feels the urge to hurt him, kill him – but Joseph still effortlessly holds up his hand with a smile.

“You’re the fool here, Robert, for thinking he can help you,” Joseph said, “How dare you think you deserve someone like him.”

Joseph pushes him over, and Robert falls to the ground. 

“You honestly think you’re worth it?” Joseph asks, “Did he tell you about his wife, and the mysterious circumstances of her death? That’s why he became so adamant to try to find me, expose me. 

“You mean nothing to him, Robert. What makes you think he’d care about someone like you? You’ve never had control over your life, over  _ anything, _ even as your family and your life falls apart.”

“You fucking stop that, Joseph, or else–”

  
  


_ “Robert?” _

Robert turns to look at the door, where the voice is coming from.

_ “Hey, Robert.” _

Someone’s knocking on the door.

Robert looks around, and suddenly, Joseph is… gone. 

Robert slowly gets up from the floor, and looks around. 

Wait, but he was definitely here earlier… wasn’t he? Isn’t that why Robert’s on the floor right now? But then why is he suddenly gone so quickly? How did he leave the house?

_ “Hey Robert, it’s me, Saul.” _

“I know,” Robert wants to say, but he just stands still at his spot.

_ “I don’t know if you’re listening or not, but I just want to say sorry about what happened last night.” _

Robert just feels such a strong urge to open the door. 

It’s not difficult, right? If he opens the door, Saul will definitely be standing out there. He said he’s sorry, and Robert is more than ready to accept it and move on. So what if Saul’s not who he said he really is? Robert’s got a few secrets of his own.

_ “You’re not worth it.” _

As much as Robert hates to admit it, Joseph… has a point. Saul’s a good, decent man, and Robert would hate for anything to happen to him – even more, if it’s going to be his fault. 

Thinks about Saul walking alone in the forest, looking for the Ghost. The forest gets darker and darker, and as the Ghost approaches–

_ “Robert? Are you there?” _

Robert just sighs as he turns around and walks into his bedroom. 

 

“I guess you don’t want to talk right now. That’s alright. If you don’t mind though, I’m going to come visit again later tonight.”

Saul sighs as he waits for an answer.

It didn’t feel like a real goodbye last night, so at least, if Robert is willing to give it to him, he… wants to properly explain himself and apologize.

It’s totally silent, though – he doesn’t hear people walking around or anything. Maybe it’s still too early for Robert to be up. Or maybe he’s left the house. 

“And if you don’t want me to come ever again, it’s fine, I just… want to hear it from you. I know what I did was wrong and I’m sorry I abused your trust.”

There’s still no answer from inside. 

“I’ll be back later tonight, Robert.”

Still silence. 

Well, if Robert really isn’t inside, he’s just talking to the wind. Seems like he doesn’t really have a choice but to come back later. 

  
  
  


“Hey, Rob.”

Robert walks  into the bar, and sees that Mary’s already inside, drinking some wine. Robert casually sits down next to her and asks for a glass of wine from Neil. 

“You don’t look so good today.”

“Didn’t sleep too well last night.”

Mary gently pats his shoulder, looking at him closely, then sniffs him. 

“You’ve been drinking before you got here, huh?”

“A little,” Robert shakes his head, “Just haven’t been feeling so good.”

“A little my ass.”

Robert just shrugs. 

“What about that guy you’ve been seeing?” she asks, “I don’t remember his name, but the big guy in his dumb trenchcoat.”

“That’s a damn good description of him!” 

They both start laughing. 

“Remember when we first met him?” Mary frowns slightly and said in the deepest voice she could manage, “Good evening ma’am, how can I help you?”

“Oh god, stop, stop!” Robert manages between his fits of laughter, but Mary maintains her Saul impression, looking around the bar with her frowning expression, pouting slightly to match for Saul’s thick lips. 

“Robert,” she calls, still in her impression, prompting him to laugh even harder, “Hey Robert. You got any drugs on you?”

“Oh, come on, Mary, you know he doesn’t do drugs.”

Neil puts a glass of whisky in front of Robert, who drinks it all immediately and slams the empty glass on the table. 

“Get me another.”

Neil seems a little hesitant, but refills the glass from him anyway. 

“For real though,” Mary said, running his fingers through Robert’s hair, “What’s wrong, Rob?”

“I told you, nothing.”

“Come on, honey, you need to try harder to lie to me.”

“Well…” Robert drinks his second glass – “It’s no big deal, really.”

“Are you having issues with someone?”

“Neil,” Robert calls on, “Give me–”

“No, no, you’re not passing out on me before you tell me what happened,” Mary said, taking the glass away from him, “Tell me who wronged you.”

“Mary, it’s really no big deal…”

Mary backs away with a sigh, and drinks more of her wine. 

“Give me back my glass.”

“No,” Mary said, “Maybe if you tell me what happened.”

“It’s nothing,” Robert groans, “Just being depressed.”

 

It sucks, because it feels like he can’t talk about this with anyone.

Definitely not Mary, although they’ve been friends for… forever. He doesn’t know if she knows what’s going on with Joseph behind her back, or if she knows but is being forced to stay silent about it – but if it’s the former scenario, he definitely doesn’t want to be the one to break the news.

He knows he needs to say something, but god, it feels like… it feels like so much. It feels so much to hold by himself, but who’s going to believe him? Hell, is anyone even going to listen? 

Yeah, the white man who’s married with four kids who’s also a youth minister at the local church is secretly a cult leader of sorts? And fucked him for fun? And how everyone else in this neighborhood is here because he… did some stuff and now they’re all single dads?

Funny story.

  
  


Robert sees Saul’s car in his driveway as he was walking home.

He can see Saul inside too, smoking as he waits. As he notices Robert approaching he quickly gets out of the car–

“Robert,” he calls, quickly coming to help him walk – “Are you drunk?”

“A little…”

Robert almost collapses onto Saul’s body as he stumbles on the street. Saul quickly grabs his arm and slings it on his shoulder to help him walk. 

“Saul…” Robert mutters, “Why are you here?”

“Well, I just wanted to check on you to make sure–”

“Okay, fuck that.”

Saul helps him walk until they arrive at the front door. Robert fumbles for his keys, almost drops them to the floor – Saul had to take it from him and open the door. 

Saul guides Robert into the house and lays him down on the couch. He takes a couple pillows and props his head up slightly, in case of… vomiting.

“Saul…”

“I’m here, I’m here.”

“Stay,” Robert mumbles, tugging on his sleeve. “Don’t go.”

“But Barry–”

“No!” 

Robert pulls him closer and hugs his arm. 

“I need to know you’re safe.”

“Okay, okay,” Saul replies. 

“Don’t go into the forest at night, there’s the Dover ghost,” Robert said suddenly, “Don’t go, Saul. That motherfucker Joseph is going to get you.”

 


	6. Chapter 6

Saul is woken up by a loud ringing sound.

He slowly wakes up and grabs his phone that he left lying on the table. Robert’s still asleep, snoring loudly, clearly undisturbed by the phone ringing.

“Hello, Saul Graves speaking.”

_“Yo, pops, you still at Robert’s place?”_

“Yeah,” Saul replies – he hears a dog barking in the distance; ah, he must’ve woken Betsy up.

_“How long till you come back?”_

“Maybe a couple hours. I’m waiting for him to wake up.”

_“Oh, okay. I need to go to the park, remember?”_

“Oh, yeah. What time do you need to be there?” Saul glances at the clock – it’s almost 8 AM.

_“In a couple hours or so.”_

“Okay, I’ll be there.”

Betsy runs up to him and hops onto the couch, next to Saul. Saul pets her head as she starts to sniff him.

“You hungry, little buddy?” he asks as he got up – “Come on. I’ll get you something to eat.”

Saul gets up from the couch, and Betsy follows behind him. They walk to where her bowl is and Saul cracks open a can of dog food that Robert left on the counter; Betsy quickly digs into it, wagging her tail happily.

“Good girl,” Saul praises, petting her back. Betsy barks at him happily – they may only have known each other for a few hours, but Saul’s knows his way around dogs at the canine unit, and Betsy warms up to him quickly.

Suddenly Saul hears a groan coming from the living room. He quickly gets up from the floor–

He watches as Robert rolls over and falls to the floor; this of course woke him up, and he groans as he stood back up and stumbles on his way to the bathroom. Saul faithfully continues to follow him –

He finds Robert huhnched over the toilet, and... almost literally vomiting his guts out.

Saul kneels down next to him and gently pats him on the back. This goes on for a few minutes as Robert continues to cough loudly, and then vomit into the bowl – pauses to take a few breaths, then throws up some more.

After a while the vomiting seems to stop, and Robert slowly turns to look at Saul while catching his breath.

“...how did you get in?”

“I walked you home last night.”

Robert looks like he’s about to say something, but his face suddenly twists and he turns to vomit some more.

Saul waits for Robert to catch his breath again, before slowly helping him get up. Robert stumbles to flush the toilet, then rests on Saul as he drags him back to the living room. Saul seats him back on the sofa – Robert almost falls over to lie back down, but Saul caught him and held him up with a few pillows.

“Let me get you some water.”

Robert just sits there, still breathing hard – the acid from his stomach is still burning his throat, and it feels like someone twisted a knot in his stomach, because it hurts like hell. That’s when he remembered he didn’t have anything to eat yesterday, since he’s just been drinking away.

Saul comes back with a glass of water, which Robert drank quickly, trying to soothe his throat.

“How are you feeling?”

“...shit.”

“I’ll make you something to eat real quick, okay?” Saul gets back up, “Wait here.”

Robert didn’t have a chance to say anything as Saul quickly heads back into the kitchen. Robert just sighs as he slowly stood up and followed him.

 

“Hey Saul.”

Saul, who was in the middle of cracking some eggs, turns to Robert.

“Robert, sit down. You need to rest up,” he said.

“I told you to fuck off the other day, didn’t I?”

Saul just ignores him, and continues cooking. Robert sighs as he pulls a chair from his dining table and sits down. Gosh, being hungover isn’t fun, but it’s just something Robert’s gotten used to.

“...how much did you drink last night?”

“I was drinking all day yesterday. Tried to drown out some nightmares.”

He sees Saul nod. Robert sighs as he watches Betsy eating in the corner–.

 

“Saw you die, Saul.”

Saul turns to look at Robert for a second.

He didn’t seem remotely surprised – like what Robert said was just a casual fact –

Saul turns back to cooking without saying another word.

 

Robert thinks back to the dream – Saul walking in the darkness of the forest, trying to look around for some clues, his dog barking at the shadow in the distance, and Saul walking towards it instead of running away–

God, his head hurts. Why is he still thinking about it? He doesn’t want to think about it anymore, and yet–

 

A few minutes later Saul places in front of him a plate with two sunny side up eggs, some refried beans, and a stack of pancakes.

“Tell me if you need more,” Saul said, “You want aspirin or something?”

“Saul,” Robert calls, “Which part of “don’t talk to me ever again” did you not understand?”

Saul sighs as he sits down in front of Robert.

“I just wanted to explain myself,” Saul said, “I know you’re deeply upset that I’ve hidden my–”

“That’s not the fucking point,” Robert sighs.

There’s silence as Robert cuts an egg in half, and shoves it into his mouth before putting some pancakes in.

This silence is good, Robert decides. He can’t explain anything to Saul with his mouth full, and if Saul tries to talk to him, he can just pretend to be too busy eating.

He can feel Saul staring at him, waiting for an answer or explanation, but he just continues eating. Damn, these are some good eggs.

 

Robert’s soon cleaned his plate. Saul brings him another glass of water, which he drank slowly, trying to maintain the silence they’ve established.

Saul sits down next to him, and gently pulls Robert in for a hug. Robert reflexively pushes him away for a second, but Saul hugs him close, unwavering.

Robert eventually relaxes in Saul’s arms. He’s… warm, and feels really comfortable. Maybe this is just what he needs to get out of his hangover…

Robert closes his eyes, feeling the warmth of Saul’s body, feeling his chest rise and fall slightly as he breathes; Saul gently kisses Robert’s forehead and caress his hair.

Robert tries to not think about what might happen, or the dream he had; tried to just… enjoy this moment of peace.

“I’m sorry, Robert.”

“...I’m fucking telling you it is not your fault.”

“Then can we just hug it out?”

“...you’re a fucking idiot, you know that?” Robert sighs, “Shit happens to people I care about. I don’t want that to be you.”

“I have a gun.”

“...and how exactly is that going to help with anything?”

Saul lets go, so Robert gets back to his seat. Maybe continuing along this line of conversation isn't the best idea...

“Barry needs to go to the park. His basketball team is having a fundraiser or something,” Saul said – “You should come along.”

“You know I’m still hungover and would literally like to be anywhere else.”

“A bit of fresh air helps too,” Saul said, “And you get to walk Betsy.”

Robert sighs as he turns to look at Betsy, who has apparently been watching them. She seems happy that her owner is getting the tender loving care he desperately needs and deserves.

“...I can’t play basketball.”

“You can just sit there and watch.”

Robert sighs, “You are not letting this go, are you?”

“Now that I know you’ll just drink yourself to death if I leave you on your own, no.”

  


The park is already pretty crowded when they arrive. Well, it is Saturday morning.

Barry gets out of the car and runs towards his friends who are already waiting by the basketball court.

“Come on pops! Play with us!” Barry said as he got out of the car, “Robert, do you wanna play too?”

“I’m good,” Robert replies. Seems like while they have a few baked goods and sports items for sale, the coach is the one doing most of the selling while the kids play in the background.

“You wanna walk your dog?” Saul asks, and Robert nods. “Just make sure to be back here in maybe two hours…”

“Geez, Saul, you sound like my mum,” Robert sighs, “I can walk myself home.”

“I was thinking to take us to lunch, with all the other kids.”

“I am absolutely not joining that.”

“Come on, Robert, dude!” Barry chimes in, “It’ll be fun!”

“Will you leave me alone if I get a cookie or something?”

Barry’s already gone off running to his friends, though. Robert just shrugs.

 

“Oh, hey, Saul!”

Saul turns to the voice, expecting it to be another parent or something – instead he sees Joseph, walking towards him with two kids in tow.

“Oh, and Robert’s here too!”

Robert just sighs and waves at them.

Saul thinks back to what Robert was saying last night, about “that motherfucker Joseph”. Saul has decided not to bring it up, since Robert seems to have no recollection of what happened last night either, but man that got him curious. Not like Saul really likes Joseph either, but… “That motherfucker Joseph is going to get you” sounds less like a threat and more like a warning. But a warning for what?

“Hey, Joseph,” Saul greets, playing it cool, “Support my son’s basketball team?”

“Sure, sure!”

“Hey Joseph!”

They turn and see some of the kids wave at Joseph, so Joseph waves back at them.

“They’re part of my church youth group,” Joseph whispers at Saul.

“Come play with us, Joseph!” they shout at him, “Barry’s dad is playing too!”

“So I take it you’re Barry’s dad?” Joseph asks, and Saul just smiles and nods in return.

“I mean, I used to be better at this, but let’s see how far my dad knees takes me,” Joseph said.

“Just a friendly competition,” Saul replies with a smile.

“You should join us too, Robert,” Joseph invites, but Robert shakes his head.

“I’m just gonna sit over there.”

Saul watches as Robert walk up to a bench and sit down. “Hey pops! You wanna play or not?”

“Yeah, give me a minute!” Saul replies as he got up, “Come on, Joseph.”

 

Robert throws a stick to the distance and watches as Betsy runs to follow it. She comes back a few seconds later with the stick in her mouth, and Robert pets her head.

He watches the two basketball teams go at each other. Saul, obviously, is playing on Barry’s team, and Joseph on the other team. Joseph’s twins are sitting on a bench with another kid who’s keeping score – Robert can’t really tell which team is winning, but it does seem like there’s this one kid in Joseph’s team who keeps scoring. Not looking good for Saul’s team.

It feels… so strange to watch Saul and Joseph get along. Of course, they don’t know much about each other right now…

No wait, Joseph definitely knows who Saul is. He’s probably just putting a friendly face so that Saul wouldn’t get suspicious, and...

...Robert feels sick at that thought.

He definitely feels an urge to… tell Saul, warn him, even. Robert’s gone through it before, and he definitely doesn’t want Saul to fall victim to this. Maybe don’t be so friendly with Joseph, stay away as far away from him as possible, don’t be baited by his friendliness.

But then Saul’s going to ask ‘why’, and that’s… not a question he really feels like answering.

What good would come from Saul knowing what Joseph did to him? Try to arrest Joseph? That’d just be more trouble, for both Robert and Saul.

He’s just been trying to forget for a long time, and then here comes Saul, wanting to find the truth.

Why can’t he just… pretend everything is going to be fine, and leave him alone?

 

Maybe he should go now. He knows Saul wants to take him out to lunch with the kids, but he’s still a little hungover, and he doesn’t really feel like dealing with middle-schoolers right now.

“Come on, Betsy.”

He gets up and walks away towards the field.

 

“Team A wins!”

The kids in team A cheer, while members of the other team just pats each other on the back as consolation. Joseph and Saul shake hands.

“Congratulations, Joseph.”

“Your team did a pretty good job too, Saul!”

Saul turns to Barry, who’s standing next to him – “You guys wanna go get food now?”

“Nah, we haven’t raised enough,” Barry said, “We’ll be here for a bit more.”

“Okay then.”

Saul turns to look at the bench where Robert was sitting, and… he’s gone. Probably went to walk his dog.

Joseph and Saul walk to a bench, and sits down. Soon Joseph’s twins come up running to him.

“Daddy,” the girl calls, “Can we go into the forest?”

“Sure, kids, but don’t go too far away,” Joseph replies, “And definitely don’t kill any animals.”

They both nod, and soon they’re off.

“Good kids,” Saul comments, “How old are they?”

“They’re eight.”

“That's nice,” Saul replies, “Wait till they turn fourteen and start causing all sorts of trouble.”

“Oh, I’m ready for it, Saul,” Joseph replies, “I signed up to be the youth pastor for this exact reason.”

They both start to laugh together.

“Where do you live, Saul?”

“Just on the other side of town.”

“If you don’t mind me asking,” Joseph said, “How did you meet Robert?”

“Went to the bar and talked to the guy who drank the most, of course.”

“I see.” Joseph nods to himself. “He really needs to stop doing that, doesn’t he?”

“Yeah,” Saul agrees, “It’s not good for the liver.”

“You know, I don’t know what kind of relationship you two have with each other, but I think you’re being a pretty good influence on him.”

“Sure,” Saul replies, “Thank you.”

“I’m worried for him too,” Joseph said, “We all grow old one day, you know? And if Robert doesn’t start watching his health soon, it might… cause all sorts of trouble for him.”

“Sure.”

“I’d like to tell him myself, but you know the kind of guy Robert is, he doesn’t really listen to anyone, and we’re not really that close.” Joseph smiles at him, “You seem to be on better terms with him, so… maybe you can intervene.”

 

It feels strange talking to Joseph. He smiles, he talks with a genuine tone and concern in his life, but something about it is so sickeningly sweet and almost alarms him.

Maybe it’s because he’s a detective, and is pretty used to reading people. Maybe to others he just seems like a genuinely concerned friend, but to him, something is… off.

 

“I understand,” Saul replies with a little smile, “I’ll try my best, Joseph.”

“Thank you!” Joseph smiles and pats Saul on the back, “Glad to see someone care about Robert as much as I do.”

 


	7. Chapter 7

Joseph Christiansen. 

Born and raised in Maple Bay, and now he’s a pastor of the youth group at a local church. His record is absolutely clean, as you’d expect from a pastor – everything Saul’s got on file about Joseph just screams ‘normal, innocent guy’. 

Something’s off-putting about him, and Saul can’t quite point out why.

He’s got to admit that part of it is thanks to what Robert said. Maybe if Saul hadn’t heard that, he would regard his earlier conversation as a pretty innocent one, maybe even genuine. 

Still, he can’t issue a search warrant just from one witness confession; heck, Robert was also drunk, and he didn’t get a recording of what he said. By standard procedure something like that would have been dismissed… Asking for a search warrant to be issued based on a hunch is pretty much impossible as well. 

Basically Robert’s given him a lead of sorts, but at the same time, there’s nothing he can do with it. 

Saul sighs as he closes his laptop and turns off the light. It’s getting pretty late but his investigation isn’t getting anywhere. 

Maybe he should try talking to Robert tomorrow. He knows Robert’s been avoiding him, citing that he doesn’t want anything bad to happen to him – so is Robert being threatened? Blackmailed? 

Maybe Saul should offer him witness protection or something of sorts. He can offer Robert to stay at their house – at least that’d get him away from the drinking and from Joseph. 

 

He’s been looking for… how many years now, four, maybe five, even?

Barry was so young back then. He understood the concept of death, since Saul’s parents had just passed away a few years prior, but to have someone so close to him suddenly disappear–

Barry remained strong all throughout. 

Saul himself tried to not look too sad, not cry in front of Barry.  Barry cried, of course, like any other child would, but… perhaps looking at how quickly Saul adjusted back to life, he too didn’t dwell on her death. Now that Saul thought about it, her death had forced him to mature quicker, sort of. 

It still haunts him how she could suddenly just… disappear. It was all so sudden and he wasn’t ready for it. 

“Mysterious circumstances”, the official report said. But if the truth comes out that Joseph did it…

Saul grabs a handful of his bedsheets, gripping them tightly. 

It’s not just him. Robert, too. Others around town who have died under mysterious circumstances. Families suddenly torn apart. The grief, the loss of their families. 

It’s unforgivable. Just thinking about it pisses him off. 

  
  
  
  


_ “Saul.” _

What is happening?

Saul can’t quite tell. 

He’s standing on the edge of the water. It feels cold, water pooling up to his knees. 

He’s holding something. No, more like… grabbing something, trying to crush it with his grip. 

“Saul.”

Robert’s calling out to him. He feels Robert’s hand holding his own. 

“What are you doing, Saul?”

Robert’s smiling, no – he’s wincing in pain. 

That was when Saul noticed that he’s got his hands wrapped around Robert’s neck, his thumbs pressed against his throat. Robert’s head is just barely above the water – if Saul lets go of him, he’d fall in the water.

Robert’s visibly in pain now – he’s gasping for air, and Saul can see he’s trying to pry away Saul’s hands from his throat. 

Why? Why is he doing this? Why is he trying to kill Robert?

Saul wants to let him go, too, but for some reason, it felt like he couldn’t. As if he didn’t have any control over what his hands were doing. 

“Saul,” Robert calls out to him, “Let me go.”

But instead Saul feels his grip tighten, and Robert lets out a pained moan. He’s still struggling, nails digging into Saul’s wrists–

What is happening?

At this point it feels like the Saul who is thinking and the Saul who is doing the action are two distinct, disjointed entities. Saul doesn’t understand why he’s trying to strangle Robert to death, but Saul is also doing it, as if his mind no longer had control over his body – 

He slowly kneels down, and lowers Robert’s head into the water. Robert seems to panic as the water comes up above his face – he starts frantically kicking his legs, cold water splashing onto Saul, and he looks at Saul, begging for mercy– 

Saul wants to pull Robert back up, let him go. He doesn’t even know what Robert did that led to this situation –

But it feels like his body doesn’t want to listen, as if its command have been overtaken by something else – something that wants to kill Robert. 

He wants to stop. Why can’t he stop? At this rate Robert’s going to die–

He notices that Robert’s grip on his arm is loosening, and he’s kicking slower. 

He has to let go right now, right this second – but his body won’t listen. 

No, no – he doesn’t want to kill Robert. Why is this happening? Why can’t he–

  
  


“Robert!”

Saul jolts up from the bed, and looks around.

He’s… on his bed, in his room.

He looks around as he feels his face – yes, he is really in his room. Was that a dream?

He quickly pinches the back of his hand to make sure it hurts – and it does. So this is the real world after all…

It’s still dark out. Saul looks at the clock – it’s six AM. He can probably sleep for another two hours...

He lies back down on his bed and pulls the blanket up to his shoulder. 

That was definitely not a pleasant dream to have, and furthermore, he’s… worried about Robert now. Earlier at the park he did leave to go walk his dog…

He should be back home, right? 

Saul considers getting up and visiting his house right now, but of course, Robert would punch him in the face for coming at this hour. 

A part of him is telling him to relax, it’s all a dream – but another part of him can’t help but be worried anyway.

He should go visit. Even if Robert just yells at him for waking him up at this unholy hour, at least he’d get to know that Robert’s at home, and doing okay.

...it’s just two more hours. Hopefully nothing’s going to happen…

...but well, it’s two hours. Anything could happen between now and then…

  
  


“Robert!”

Saul knocks on the door. God, he can already hear Saul yelling at him for waking him up this early in the morning.

A few minutes pass, but no answer – he doesn’t even hear any movements coming from the house. Maybe Robert’s still asleep?

Saul knocks again. He has to get to the bottom of this and make sure Robert’s safe. 

“Robert!” he shouts, louder this time, “Robert, you hear me?”

Shouldn’t Betsy have heard him at this point? He knocks again.

“Robert!”

Finally he hears some steps coming from inside the house. Okay, now time to brace himself for Robert’s wrath – 

 

Robert opens the door with a sigh. His hair is a mess, and he’s just wearing his red T-shirt, no leather jacket. Clearly he was asleep and got violently woken up. Saul can’t help but feel a bit of relief upon seeing him, though.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Saul replies, “Just want to make sure you’re home.”

“At 6 AM in the morning?” Robert sighs, “Really, Saul, you’ve got my number.”

“I just wanted to make sure you are actually home.”

Robert’s silent for a few seconds, giving Saul a sharp look, clearly unhappy he’s been woken up this early – but he then just shrugs.

“Thanks,” Robert sighs, “Maybe do it at a more reasonable time next time.”

“Yeah, sorry about that...”

Saul had expected a punch in the face, or at least Robert slamming the door in his face… but Robert’s not as angry as Saul thought he would be. 

Well, that’s… a good thing, perhaps? 

“What?” Robert asks, “Anything wrong?”

“No, nothing.” Saul shakes his head as he turns away, “So are we cool now?”

Robert looks up at him, “What do you mean?”

“These past few days you’ve been kind of avoiding me, and telling me not to come here and not talk to you.”

“I mean, you know I wasn’t feeling too well yesterday, being hungover and all that,” Robert sighs, “Sorry, Saul.”

Robert being apologetic for being drunk? Well, that’s new, considering how he’s drunk ninety percent of the time.

“So we’re cool?”

Robert gives a little smile and nods. 

“Sorry,” Robert said again, “Thanks for putting up with this old horse.”

Saul leans in to hug Robert, and this time he doesn’t push away. In fact, Robert quickly hugs him back, wrapping his arms around Saul’s waist and pulling him closer. 

“Well, I’m happy this is resolved.” Saul presses a kiss on Robert’s forehead, “I’ll leave you to go back to sleep. Try not to drink too much today, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Saul turns around and heads back to his car. 

Well, at least Robert didn’t ask him why he came here. It would’ve been awkward to tell Robert that he dreamt about killing him, and Robert would probably straight up attempt to kill him.

Now that everything seems to be… resolved, maybe he should hang out with Robert again. Take him out to a fancy dinner or something this time...

He watches as Robert walks back into the house before he starts his car and leaves.

  
  


Joseph watches Saul’s car leave Robert's driveway, then closed the blinds.

Seems like Saul’s a lot sharper than he’d expected. Well, that’s what you get for being a detective, it seems.


	8. Chapter 8

Lucien sighs as he turns on the faucet, and some water starts running from the hose. He picks it up and starts going around the garden.

Well, usually his dad is the one who waters the plants and also does all the maintenance, but today he said he’s going to be staying late at work, and texted Lucien to water the plants. He doesn’t do this too often, but still, it’s… a hassle, especially with a garden this big. 

He starts spraying the water towards the plants, that are all planted according to their categories – some flowers near the path, and bushes and shrubs behind them. Lucien’s not too sure why his dad is so obsessive about these things, or how he can have all the energy and time to take care of such a big lawn…

Lucien continues watering, only moving on when he can see water pooling at the bottom of each plant.

Well, at least he doesn’t have to do this everyday…

 

Suddenly he hears what sounds like a bark.

Wait. Did that just come from a plant?

Lucien continues to water there for a little longer, curious – and suddenly, a dog appears from among the bushes.

“Whoa, whoa!” Lucien shouts at it. It looks up at Lucien, looking pretty wet and scared. He quickly drops the hose. 

It’s a small black and white spotted dog – so small it doesn’t even come up to his knees. It has a spiky red collar around its neck…

“Hey, little buddy, sorry I got you wet,” Lucien said – but the dog backs away from him and starts barking. 

“Sorry, sorry, I know you’re scared.”

The dog seems pretty well taken care of, though – it’s clean and pretty well-behaved. It does seem pretty scared of him, though…

Lucien suddenly feels an itch at his nose, and quickly looks away to sneeze. Ah damn, allergies. But this dog looks like it belongs to someone, too – so why is it in their yard anyway?

He holds his breath and picks up the dog, and that’s when he noticed some blood getting on his hand – it’s coming from the dog; there’s a wound on its leg. Oh no, this is beyond him now – maybe his dad can deal with this? 

~•~

  
  


  
  
  


“Hey Neil.”

Saul walks into the bar and sits down at the counter. Neil finishes serving another customer first before finally turning to him. 

A familiar face catches Saul’s eye – it’s the lady in a brown sweater who asked him to buy a drink on the first night. She’s chatting with some other guy, maybe trying to get him to buy her more drinks?

“Haven’t seen you in a while,” Neil replies, “Beer?”

“Sure, why not.”

“Have you seen Robert recently?” Neil asks as he pours some beer from a tap, “And by that yes, I’m totally asking you if you arrested him.”

“No, of course not,” Saul replies, “But that lady is here. Don’t they usually hang out together?”

“Oh, you mean Mary? She’s been coming here alone.”

Saul turns to watch her – seems like she got rejected by the guy she was talking to earlier, but now she’s talking to someone else who seems to be offering to buy her drinks. Now they’re both walking towards the counter–

Mary quickly spots Saul, and her expression sours.

“Well, well, this is the guy I’ve been looking for!” she shouts, pointing at him – “You! Big guy! I’ve got a bone to pick with you!”

Saul sips his beer calmly. He has no intention of starting an argument or a fight here…

Mary still comes over to sit down next to him, along with the other bar patron, who just seemed confused at this point. Saul can tell the poor guy doesn't want to be caught up in a fight, though. 

“Where’s Robert?” Mary asks, “How come I haven’t heard from him?”

“I just talked to him last night.”

“Bullshit!” she shouts, “And he hasn’t been replying to my texts! Or picking up my calls! His house has been empty every time I visit! Something is up!”

Saul turns to look at Neil, looking for support – but he just shrugs, as if saying silently, “You’re on your own, man.”

“And he was really sad the last time he was here!” Mary goes on, “I kept asking him, Robert, what’s wrong, and he wouldn’t tell me shit!”

Saul watches the guy slowly walk away, and nod at him sympathetically. Saul would do the same if he had a choice. 

“You!”

“Yes,” Saul quickly turns back to Mary, who is now full-out yelling at him – “I did meet him when he was walking back from the bar.”

“You know what, fuck this!” Mary shouts as she stood up and grabbed Saul by the arm – “You come with me right now!”

“Wait, but–”

Neil just shakes his head and shoos them away. Saul quickly puts a few bills on the table before getting up and letting Mary drag him away. 

  
  
  


Mary drags him out to Robert’s neighborhood, as he’d expected. 

“I tell you what,” Mary said, “I’ve known Robert forever. I know when something isn’t right. You mess with him, you mess with me, you got it?”

Saul nods. 

They both stop in front of Robert’s house, and Mary walks up to knock… bang on the door. 

“Robert!” she yells while banging on the door, “Robert Small!”

“Maybe don’t be so loud,” Saul warns her as he looks around to make sure none of the neighbors notice. 

“Robert! Open the fucking door!”

Mary continues banging on the door – and Saul can’t really hear anything from inside. Maybe Robert’s out drinking somewhere else – why isn’t Betsy barking at the commotion outside, though? 

“Let me try giving him a call,” Saul said, taking out his phone – ”Maybe he’s taking a walk or something.”

“Rooooobert!”

Saul’s just looking up Robert’s number among his contacts when suddenly he heard a door click open – except it’s not Robert’s door, it’s the door of the house next door. 

Joseph walks out of the door with a sigh – the twins tried to follow him out of the door, but Joseph quickly noticed, and quickly pushed them back into the house and closing the door.

“Mary, come on, it’s almost 10 PM.”

“I’m not leaving until we find out where he is!”

“Mary, you’re going to wake up Crish and also everyone else,” Joseph said, gently placing his hands on Mary’s shoulder, “Come on, dear. We can let Saul deal with it.”

“But we haven’t heard from him in days!”

“He’s probably out camping or something, looking for ghosts again,” Joseph tried to persuade her, “Come on, Mary, let’s go. I’m so sorry about this, Saul.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“You should go home too. It’s pretty late, right?” Joseph asks, “We should catch up some other time, though.”

“You better find him, asshole!”

“Mary, come on…”

Saul watches as Joseph leads Mary into the house. 

 

That’s definitely strange, though. They just went out for dinner last night, but both Mary and Neil are claiming that they haven’t seen or heard from him for a few days. 

Maybe Robert’s avoiding them? Although Saul can’t quite think of a reason for that… and if he’d gone camping as Joseph suggested, wouldn’t he at least tell someone? 

Saul take  out his phone and quickly dials Robert’s number – 

There’s the dial tone… it goes on for a while, and ends with the usual robotic voice saying the number isn’t available right now.

There are now two people who are telling him something… might not be right. Of course, he can’t quite tell what’s going on yet, but three reports seem quite substantial, doesn’t it? 

There’s also the possibility that Robert is indeed inside, but passed out or something. If that is the case, it would be dangerous to leave him alone without any medical help...

Saul turns to the door with a sigh.

He starts walking around the house, looking at all the windows. All of them seems to be locked from inside…

He’s really tempted to break in, although he definitely knows the legal consequences of it. On the other hand, he definitely wouldn’t want to risk leaving Robert in a potentially deadly situation without any help…

Saul takes out his gun, and smashes a window with it. He looks around to make sure that there’s nobody around to see what he just did and what he’s about to do...

He carefully jumps into the house, and lands on the kitchen floor. Man, everything is still just as messy as he remembers it…

Robert’s nowhere to be seen so far, and neither is Betsy. Saul slowly walks around, with his gun drawn – 

Seems like nobody’s home. Well, even if Saul doesn’t find anything, that’s not going to be a bad thing, just… Saul would be worried as to what happened to him.

“Robert?”

There’s nothing downstairs. He slowly walks up the stairs – 

There are two doors, and one of them is open. Saul opens the other door and turns on the light to look inside–

It’s a child’s room, it seems. The walls are painted light purple, and there’s a small bed at the corner. Everything here is very tidy, as if it hasn’t been touched in years. This must be Val’s room…

He turns to the other room and slowly walks in. This must be Robert’s, judging from the messiness…

He’s never been in here before, although he’s visited this house a few times now; he’s never needed to be up here anyways. Walking in like this feels like he’s breaching Robert’s privacy, though…

 

But there’s nobody around, as far as he can see. He circles around the bed–

And suddenly he sees… a pool of dried blood, at the corner. 

Saul stops for a second, unsure if he’s really seeing this – he walks closer to it to take a closer look, and seems like there’s no doubt that it is really blood. 

There’s a fair amount of it – he would say it came from a stab wound or something. If he would have to guess, though it doesn’t seem like this is the amount of blood loss that would kill somebody…

Suddenly an image flashes in his head – that of his dream, where Robert was struggling as he strangled him underwater. Saul quickly shakes his head, trying to brush it off…

But where’s Robert? And where’s Betsy? Maybe if this is a robbery...

He should call his colleagues to take a look at this, and also try to find Robert. He takes out his phone from his pocket–

 

Right around then, he suddenly feels a sharp pain in his left abdomen. 

He looks down at it, and sees that there’s a knife going straight through him, and it’s bleeding. The pain is now rushing through his entire body–

“Why are you here, Saul?”

It sounds… like Robert. 

Saul’s fingers reaches over to the safety of his gun, flicking it off. He’d love to turn around, but that means the knife might get pulled out of him, and he doesn’t need to be bleeding more than he already is. 

“Robert?” Saul asks as calmly as he could – “Whose blood is that?”

“It’s not mine.”

“Oh,” Saul replies, “Did anyone break in the house or something?”

“Well, right now it’s you.”

“That’s fair,” Saul sighs, “I’m sorry.”

He feels the knife being pulled away from his body, and he instinctively pressed his hand on his stomach. He turns around and points his gun–

And it really is Robert standing behind him, holding a bloodied knife, but for some reason… he seems different. Saul can’t quite point out why...

Robert walks towards him, still holding the knife, and Saul points the gun at him. 

“You’re not going to shoot, are you?”

“Well, if you’re going to try to kill me, I won’t go down that easily,” Saul replies, “I’ve got a son waiting at home.”

“What kind of heartless man are you, Saul? I thought we were friends.”

Is this… not Robert? Just someone pretending to be him? But if that’s the case, why would they try to do that? And where’s the real Robert?

“You take another step and I’ll shoot you.”

So Robert stops. 

Saul can feel the blood draining fast from his body. If he doesn’t try to patch himself up soon he might pass out–

It feels so strange to think that Robert would suddenly turn on him like this – but he still wants to desperately believe this isn’t Robert. But how would they do it? And why?

“Who are you?”

“What do you mean?” Robert asks cluelessly – “You know me, Saul – I’m Robert.”

“No!” something in the back of Saul’s head screams – Saul’s still pointing his gun at Robert. 

Robert starts to walk towards him, opening his arms as if trying to hug him – and Saul’s hand reflexively pulls the trigger.

 

He watches as Joseph falls over to the ground – Saul had apparently shot him in the thigh. Saul quickly jumps up and tackles him to the ground, so that Saul’s right above him. Joseph stabs his knife towards Saul’s neck, but Saul quickly catches the blade with his hand.

What the fuck is going on? Saul’s certain that just before he shot, it was Robert he saw standing in front of him –

But right now, it’s unmistakable that he’s tackled Joseph to the ground. 

Joseph tries to pull the knife out of Saul’s hand, but Saul just grips it harder – his hand bleeds even more, blood now dripping on the ground – until the pain becomes unbearable and he loosens his grip, and Joseph pulls the knife back. He stabs it again, at Saul’s chest this time, but Saul blocks it, this time letting the knife pass through his hand. He quickly pulls it back out and tosses it to the other side of the room.

“Where’s Robert?!”

“You’re too good for me, detective,” Joseph said, still wincing from the pain – ”But you’re not going to find him.”

Saul grabs him by the collar and slams his head to the floor – Joseph lets out a pained groan, but he’s still grinning.

“What if I tell you he’s dead?”

“You better tell me if you value if your fucking life.”

Joseph smiles, “I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice margarita.”

Saul grabs his gun with his good hand, and starts hitting Joseph’s head with the handle. Joseph groans as Saul hits him mercilessly–

It feels like he blacked out from anger, and his body was moving on its own, repeatedly hitting Joseph in the head. Saul doesn’t understand why he’s come to experience such an intense emotion either – 

From the thought that Robert’s gone? That he’ll never see Robert again? Losing his wife wasn’t enough, now he’s lost Robert, too–

And this is the man who did it, right? The person who made him suffer? Saul deserves to… take out his anger on him, take revenge on him, right? 

Why can’t he do anything? Why can’t he ever respond in time to save someone he cares about? 

Saul’s not going to let him get away this time. 

 

Saul eventually slows down as his body weakens from the blood loss. 

He can see Joseph’s face is now all bloody and bruised, and he’s fallen unconscious. 

Saul slowly gets up and looks down at him.

It feels… cathartic. As if all the anger he’s pent up over the years have finally been released. 

But Robert… where is he? What’s happened to him?

 

Saul slowly limps out of the room, and takes out his phone. 

_ “Hey, Saul, what’s up?” _

“I need some backup,” Saul speaks into the walkie talkie, “There’s been a house assault, I think.”

_ “Oh, okay. You’re there right now?” _

“Yeah. It’s at…”

He suddenly feels someone strike him from the back, and he drops his walkie talkie. He falls on the floor with Joseph above him, arms wrapped around his neck, putting him in a chokehold.

Joseph feels… abnormally strong, for someone who’s been struck in the head, even if he faked passing out. Saul tried to grab his arms, tried to pry his hands away from his neck – but Joseph only seems to grow stronger, and Saul soon finds himself unable to breathe–

“This is it for you, Saul,” he heard Joseph say, “You should find solace in the fact you’re going to see Robert again soon.”

 

And then everything turns dark. 

...feels like everything’s heavy, sinking.

  
  



	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so damn long. i had 5 existential crises trying to decide where to go w the story

It’s dark around here, and cold. 

Saul slowly opens his eyes, but it’s so dark that he wouldn’t be able to tell if he has his eyes closed or open if not for the white dots he’s seeing. His head feels light, and it’s pounding in pain. 

It feels… damp and hard under his body. He feels the area and lifts his hand to look at it – he can feel that it’s wet, and his hand hurts, for some reason. 

As his eyes slowly adjust into the darkness, he can see something drawn on the ceiling above him. It looks like… a sun of sorts, with a dot in the middle. 

Right, Robert has this tattoo, too. Saul’s been meaning to ask him about it.

He slowly gets up despite his body’s protest, and looks around. 

He remembers being in Robert’s house. Robert suddenly turning into somebody else… turning into Joseph. How in the hell did that even happen – was it all a dream?

Regardless of the answer to that question – where the hell is this?

He feels his body to see if he has his gear with him – and he has none. The holster is empty, the walkie talkie is gone, his taser is gone – great. 

He slowly gets up, and suddenly feels that it hurts in his lower abdomen. He kneels back down, grasping his stomach in pain. 

As he slowly lifts his hand he can see some blood… or otherwise some kind of dark colored liquid. 

The image of Joseph stabbing him from the back flashes in his mind. 

And then he thinks back to Barry. He’s probably waiting at home with worry. What would happen to him if Saul can’t make it home? 

He has to get out of here. 

  
  


He slowly starts walking. At least he’ll get somewhere if he walks – he won’t accomplish anything just staying in one place. 

It hurts to walk, but he doesn’t really have a choice. He slowly feels around, looking for a wall or something to hold on to. This does seem to be a big room of some sort…

He thinks about his wound. Moving around like this will definitely make it worse, plus the possibility of bleeding to death – wait, how long has he been here? How has he not bled into unconsciousness?

 

“Who’s there?”

A man’s voice calls out to him, echoing in the dark. He must have heard Saul’s footsteps or something. Should Saul tell him? It's kind of a relief someone else is here with him, but Saul can’t be sure if he can be trusted–

Well, he’d have to take the chance. His legs feel like they’re going to give up at anytime. 

“Look, buddy, I don’t know who the fuck you are, but we gotta help each other here,” the voice calls out, “Come over here. I’ve got a knife.”

Saul slowly approaches the voice. He can make out a figure in the distance, although he can’t see his face. 

“What’s your name, man?”

“I’m Saul.”

There’s a brief silence, and then Saul hears something rattle in the distance. 

“Holy fuck.”

“Who are you?”

“It’s me, Robert, man.”

Saul starts walking faster, getting closer to the shadow. He still can’t see, so he gently places his hand on what should be Robert’s cheek – 

“Saul,” Robert calls out to him, “Holy shit.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m tied to this chair,” Robert said, yanking his hands against the rope – “I think I’ve still got my knife in my pocket.”

Saul reaches over to Robert’s pants, and he feels something hard in there. He tries to pull it out–

“That’s my dick.”

“Oh, sorry.”

“A bit to the left,” Robert said, “I guess that’s right for you.”

Saul finally takes out the knife and starts feeling Robert’s arms for the rope – 

He finally found it, and starts cutting through it. It’s quite a thick one and he has to sort of saw through it with Robert’s small whittling knife. He holds the other end with his bleeding hand, careful as to not cut Robert. 

He feels the knife go through the rope, and Robert shakes his hand as he’s freed. He takes the knife from Saul’s hands –

“Are you hurt, Saul?”

“How long have you been here, Robert?”

“I don’t know,” Robert replies with a sigh, “A while I guess. I’d say a few days. It’s hard to tell.”

Robert takes Saul’s hand in his and holds it tightly. 

“You’re bleeding,” Robert said, a hint of worry in his voice, “Are you bleeding anywhere else?”

“Joseph stabbed my stomach, but that’s it.”

“Fucking…”

Saul swore he heard Robert’s voice crack slightly as he said that. Robert moves to feel his stomach, and Saul winces at the pain. 

“How did you even get here?”

“I thought I’d pay you a visit. Neil and Mary were worried that they haven’t heard from you…”

Saul pauses to catch his breath. It was pretty tiring to walk all the way here – he doesn’t even know how long it took him to get here. 

“Saul? Saul?” The panic is now apparent in Robert’s voice. “Stay with me. Don’t fucking die on me.”

“I’ll be fine, Robert.”

“See, I told you to stay the fuck away from me, and you kept insisting to meet me,” Robert sighs, “Oh god…”

“Are you hurt, Robert?” Saul asks back, “How did you get here? Why were you tied?”

“Look, that doesn’t matter right now,” Robert said sternly, “Let’s get you out of here.”

“Is Joseph behind all this?”

“Yes, dumbass.”

Saul feels Robert’s arm wrapped under his arm, propping him up to help him walk.

Saul stares at Robert as they both limp together in the dark room – from what Saul can see, which isn’t much, he seems… tense. 

Saul thinks back to the night before. How he looked at Robert, standing in front of him with a bloody knife, and–

How can he be sure that this is… Robert? And not Joseph in disguise again?

...he doesn’t really have the right to ask that right now. Robert’s helping him after all. 

“Listen,” Robert said suddenly, “I don’t know what Joseph’s deal is, but this is exactly why I told you to stay away from me.”

“You didn’t do anything to me, Robert.”

“Joseph isn’t a good guy like you, Saul,” Robert sighs, “He’s got me caught up in this mess, and I don’t want you to be caught in it too. You still have Barry to take care of.”

“You still have Val too, Robert.”

Robert just sighs – “She doesn’t need me anymore.”

“Doesn’t mean you can die yet.”

Robert falls silent upon hearing this. 

  
  


“I’m sorry.”

Robert sighs, “About?”

“When Joseph was… pretending to be you, I… shot him.”

Saul stops walking, so Robert stops, too. 

“I don’t know. Maybe you shouldn’t help me,” Saul said, “If I could shoot him, I could shoot you, too.”

“You should’ve fucking killed him, then we wouldn’t be stuck here.”

“But how could I–”

“Saul,” Robert cuts in, “Don’t think about it too much.”

“But–”

“Tell me how sorry and guilty you feel once we get out of here,” Robert said, “And now you shut up. You’re bleeding your ass off.”

Saul obediently remains silent, and nods. 

  
  


Robert can feel Saul getting… heavier. Sure, part of it is because Robert’s tired himself (when was the last time he ate again?) but also Saul seems to have stopped walking, and while he’s trying to keep going, most of his movement now comes from Robert dragging him. Plus Saul’s twice or thrice his size…

Robert slows down to a halt and turns to Saul. He’s breathing so softly now, Robert can barely hear him. 

“Stay with me, Saul,” Robert said, “Hey, you hear me?”

Saul doesn’t reply. Robert kneels down so he can lay Saul on the floor – there’s a lot of blood everywhere. 

“Saul,” Robert shakes his shoulder–

Don’t think back to the car crash. Don’t think back to Marilyn dying behind the airbag. Pull it together, Robert. 

“Come on,” he mutters, “Saul, you can do this. Let’s go.”

Saul seems to be conscious – he reaches out his hand towards Robert, and Robert takes it and tries to pull him up. Saul grabs onto Robert’s shoulder, and slowly gets up. Robert slowly stands up to try to keep going, but Saul’s too heavy for him, and they both fall back down. 

“So, all those people who died,” Saul muttered, “Did he do it?”

“Maybe not all of them, but I’m sure some of it was him,” Robert explained. 

“He was using me as bait so you’d come here. Clearly no serial killer would want a detective poking into their business.”

“It’s not a bad trap to fall into.”

Robert sighs, with meaning. “You’re fucking dumb sometimes.”

“Robert,” Saul mutters, “Can you promise to adopt Barry if I don’t make it?”

“Shut up, bitch, we’re both gonna make it out of here.”

“But do you promise?”

Robert sighs, “You saw how well I did with my own daughter?”

Saul’s silent at this point.

“Stop thinking about dying, okay? You’re scaring me.”

Saul breathes slowly, still holding onto Robert’s arm. Robert looks around in panic – he can’t let Saul die here, but of course there’s nothing in this godforsaken place but a few rocks lying around – 

“Oh, I didn’t figure he’d still be alive.”

Robert turns around as he hears the voice coming from behind him. He turns around to look–

It’s Joseph standing behind him. Or maybe he’s not really there – Robert can’t quite tell, but it definitely seems like someone’s standing behind him.

“Joseph,” Robert hisses at him, “You fucker.”

“It’s nice to see you two work together!” Joseph said, “And it’s rare to see you make a friend, Robert.”

“Yeah, cause you’ve been killing them off,” Robert sighs, protectively pulling Saul closer to him – and pressing his knife into Saul’s hand. 

“You know I can’t.”

“What the fuck is it going to take to stop you, asshole?”

Joseph just smiles and shrugs slightly. 

“This problem is just between you and me. So don’t be a fucking wimp and take hostages.”

Robert slowly takes Saul’s hand off him and stands up – he hears Saul groan, probably trying to say something.

Robert starts walking towards Joseph, and he sees Joseph limping towards him, too. Fuck, this is probably a bad idea. 

 

“You really thought that being friends with a detective is gonna help you?”

Saul watches as Robert runs charging towards Joseph, trying to punch him, and it does seem like Robert landed a punch, but in the process Joseph caught his hand and tackled him to the ground. He sees Robert struggling, trying to get back up – but now Joseph has his hands around Robert’s neck, trying to choke him.

“I suppose now he can now watch you die, huh?”

Saul can barely see, but he hears Robert still groaning and struggling. He slowly stands up, holding onto the knife with all his strength. 

He has to… at least, create a distraction so Robert has a chance to run away. Joseph seems to be noticing him–

“Still coming to his rescue, detective?”

“I’m “I’m not letting you get away,” Saul groans – fuck, does that wound in his stomach hurt. 

“Look at how miserable you are,” Joseph said, getting up off Robert – “I should perhaps end your suffering.”

Saul notices that Joseph is limping towards him – must have been from the gunshot earlier. Saul grips the knife white-knuckled, and stabs it at Joseph’s face, aiming for his eye – Joseph catches his hand easily, so Saul drops the knife and instead struck him with his body. Already unbalanced from his injured foot, Joseph falls to the ground–

Saul can see Robert jump up from the floor and now it’s his turn to go off on Joseph – he grabs the knife from the floor and stabs his back with it, clearly aiming for the heart. Joseph shouts in pain, clutching his chest, but Robert just pulls the knife out and stabs him again, as if making sure. 

Robert turns to grab Saul – the panic and adrenaline seem to have given his body more power than it should have, and Robert quickly lifts him up, dragging him across the floor as they run away. He doesn’t know where to yet, but as long as they’re getting away from Joseph. 

  
  
  



	10. Chapter 10

Typical Friday night here at Jim’s and Kim’s.

There seems to be some kind of game going on – football, maybe. Some bar patrons are watching it – Robert’s just keeping track of the score, but he doesn’t really care who’s winning.

Man, it’s not fun without Mary here. She’s been pretty busy dealing with her own stuff, after Joseph mysteriously “disappeared”, and right now she’s moved with the kids back to her parents’ house. 

Robert still finds himself unable to tell her what happened. It’s not like she asked, but he just… felt like he should tell her something about it, but ultimately decided against it.

Man, these people are noisy, even though none of the teams have recently scored. They seem to be getting into an argument on whose team is better, as usual – usually Robert finds these arguments pretty interesting, but he’s just annoyed by them today.

“Neil,” he calls, “Give me another glass?”

Neil takes his empty glass and refills it before giving it back. 

“Haven’t seen Mary around in a while.”

“Yeah, she’s dealing with some stuff,” Robert sighs, “It’s not fun here without her. I think I’ll call it a night after this glass.”

Neil nods slowly. 

“So you were missing and we were worried, and now she’s gone out of town.”

Robert just shrugs.

“How’s Saul?” 

“He’s… fine,” Robert replies. He didn’t really want to talk about this here tonight, but here it goes.

“Mary insisted he look for you and dragged him to your house.”

“Jesus fucking Christ, is that what happened?” 

Robert’s never heard this before – maybe that’s why Mary was kind of quiet when she visited them in the hospital, too. But it’s not like she could’ve known Joseph was behind the whole thing – 

Yeah, that’s just how Mary is, Robert thought. She doesn’t really care about anyone, but if she’s worried, she won’t let it go until she makes sure everything’s okay.

“He’s out of the hospital?”

“Yeah,” Robert replies, shaking the glass and watching the whisky inside swirl, “He can’t go to work for another month, though.”

“What happened to him?”

“Don’t know, but they had to take out one of his kidneys.”

Neil sighs, “And you?”

“Me?” Robert asks, ‘I’m… mostly fine. Just got another scar in my abs.”

They’re both quiet as Robert drinks some of his whisky – again, to avoid further conversation; Neil seems to understand this.

Now that he thought about it, it… simply isn’t fair. Saul was just trying to help him, and he almost died in return, while he just got away with a little scar.

It’s kind of Saul’s fault, too, right? Robert’s told him to get away, told him that dealing with him won’t be any good, and yet Saul insists to stay in touch with him, wouldn’t get off his case. Granted, some of it is for the sake of his investigation – damn, he doesn’t really know if Saul actually cared about him anyway, but still–

Robert downs the rest of his glass and leaves. 

 

Well, what now?

It’s still pretty early in the night, and he could go to another bar and resume drinking, but he doesn’t feel like dealing with another hangover tomorrow morning.

His reaction after coming back from the hospital has been to drink more to forget everything that happened – he got back into the hospital twice for alcohol poisoning, prompting an angry call from Val–

Thanks to that, and watching how Saul and Barry are coping, it feels… wrong to do that, somehow.

Not that alcohol withdrawal is fun. That’s why he’s been drinking a little here and there.

...he hasn’t seen Saul in a while. 

It feels… wrong to want to see him, especially since he landed him in this situation in the first place. Saul doesn’t seem like he wants to talk to Robert anyway, and Robert’s probably seen him once in the hospital – and that was after his surgery, when he was still unconscious.

He still feels like he should apologize or something, but would Saul even accept it at this point? What does Saul even think of him now? 

It’s like playing Schrödinger’s cat – except Robert doesn’t really want to open the box. Maybe it’s best that they both move on and pretend this never happened, forget each other. 

He lights a cigarette as he walks down the street. Maybe he can sneak into the cinema or something to kill time before he has to go home. 

 

“Hey, Robert!”

He turns around to the voice calling him, and sees Barry waving at him from the back of a car. The driver rolls down their window, and it’s Mat.

Robert waves back without saying anything, but Mat gestures for him to come over. Robert just sighs.

“What? I’m going home.”

“Your house isn’t that way, Robert.”

He sighs again. 

“You should come with us, Robert!” Barry invites him, “Come on!”

“Where are you guys going?”

“Home! We just finished watching a movie!”

“I can give you a ride home after I drop him off,” Mat offers.

“No thanks. I’m good,” Robert said, turning to walk away. “You guys have a good night.”

He hears the door open though, and a few seconds later Barry’s standing behind him, grabbing him by the arm.

“Come on, Robert!”

“Fuck off, kid, I said I’m fine.”

“But pops wants to see you!”

Robert sighs, as he studies Barry’s face. His face looks serious, but that’s just… his resting face. He clearly inherited that from Saul.

“Are you pulling my leg or are you serious?”

“I’m sick of seeing him cry from nightmares, Robert,” Barry said, “Come on.”

“Try giving him some whisky, that usually helps.”

Robert shakes Barry’s hand off, and turns to walk away. 

Barry doesn’t go after him this time.

  
  


Crying from nightmares, huh.

That happened to him for a while too after Marilyn died. 

Yeah, what happened this time around is a lot like back then. Can’t sleep, ends up drinking more, tries to isolate himself from everyone. It’s just become his standard way of mourning now.

...it can’t be fun for Saul. Plus he still has to deal with the complications of his surgery.

Maybe he should say hi, see if he’s doing okay…

...but what if he just ends up making it worse? Maybe Saul doesn’t want anything to do with him anymore, that definitely makes sense–

Fuck, he really wants to see Saul, he’s missed him, he’s wanted to make sure he’s doing okay – but on the other hand, if Saul just ends up rejecting him, pushing him away, Robert doesn’t think he would be able to deal with it. 

Saul’s just… become so important to him so quickly, and he doesn’t want Saul to hate him. If Saul’s just going to reject him anyway, he’d be better off not knowing…

He stops walking and turns around. Barry’s still standing there, watching him – he cracks a nervous smile as he notices Robert staring at him.

“Hey, just, uh… don’t get into the hospital again, okay?”

Robert sighs. Barry’s clearly been having it rough since that incident, too –

Suddenly he remembers how Saul made him promise to adopt Barry. Well, luckily he didn’t have to do that, but… what would a good parent, a good dad do?

He turns and starts walking back towards Barry.

“...fuck, kid,” he groans, “You’re a lot like your old man, you know that?”

  
  


At least the kids don’t try to talk to him in the car – they’re also too busy in the backseat talking about the movie they just watched. 

“So you know Saul well, huh, Mat?”

“Well, these two have known each other for a long time,” Mat replies, “And Saul helped me out a couple times when things go south at the cafe, so yeah, I know him.”

“What do you mean go south at the cafe?”

“Well, the open mic nights get a little rowdy sometimes.”

Robert sighs as he looks out of the window. 

“You talked to Saul recently?”

Robert shakes his head. 

“What, does he ask?”

“Not really,” Mat replies, “To me it looks like he’s trying to put this behind him.”

“Then isn’t asking me to go see him exactly the opposite of that?”

“Uhh…” Mat sighs nervously, “I didn’t say you should bring it up to him… I mean, I guess you’re right that he might not want to think about it anymore, but I think it would still be nice for you guys to–

Robert sighs and shakes his head. 

“Okay, okay, I get it.”

  
  


The car stops in front of Saul’s house, and Mat turns off his engine. They all get out of the car. Barry’s about to knock on the door, except Saul has opened it before he could. 

“Hey,” Saul calls, “Thanks for watching over him, Mat.”

“No big deal, man.”

Saul’s eyes meet with Robert’s, and Robert almost looks away to avoid eye contact, but gosh, he hasn’t seen Saul in a few weeks now, and he looks so different. He’s definitely lost some weight, there are some bags under his eyes, and while he definitely doesn’t look like a wreck, the incident definitely left a mark on him. 

“Hey, Robert.”

“Hey…” Robert greets back, “How are you?”

“I’m fine. Come on in,” Saul invited, “You guys had something to eat?”

“Mat ordered pizza for us.”

“What about you, Robert?”

“I’m good,” Robert said, “I should go…”

“Okay, let’s go in and hang out for a bit!” Mat suddenly exclaims, pushing Robert inside the house. Robert just sighs – it’s not like he really has a choice at this point…

 

Barry and Carmensita quickly take the couch, and Barry turns on the TV. Mat decides to join them, leaving Saul and Robert alone at the dining table, as there’s literally no more space on the couch. 

Robert can tell Saul’s nervous, too, but still tries to appear calm and composed. Saul’s pretty good at that. 

“So did you eat?”

Robert shakes his head. Saul heads over to the fridge–

“No, Saul, really, I’m fine.”

“Have you eaten today?”

Robert thinks about it...

“Had a burger for lunch.”

Saul pulls out a packet with a bagel inside along with a box of cream cheese and hands it to Robert. 

“You want a salad or something with it?”

“It’s fine.”

Robert tears open the packaging and bites into the bagel, without putting any cream cheese on it. Saul sits down next to him, and watches him eat. 

The kids and Mat are watching some movie about… Robert can’t really tell what it’s about. People?

So he turns to look at Saul, who’s still watching him. 

“You look different.”

“Yeah, lost a few pounds,” Saul sighs, “I need to be more careful with what I eat now.”

Robert nods. He looks at Saul’s hands, one of which has a new scar now. 

“How’s that hand?”

“It’s fine. It still trembles sometimes,” Saul said, “Something about the nerves and the tendons or something.”

“Fuck, you keep getting cooler everyday,” Robert said, “The scar in your eye, and now in your hand. And you survived a stabbing.”

Saul just chuckles, “You’re overselling it.”

Robert takes a bite, and they’re both silent as Robert chews. He notices that Barry and Carmensita are watching them instead of the movie – they quickly turn to look away once they notice Robert glaring at them, though.

“How about you?”

“Me?” Robert asks, “I’m fine.”

“Val called me a couple weeks ago,” Saul said, “Told me you’re in the hospital.”

“Drank a bit too much. It’s no big deal, really.”

Saul looks at Robert – his eyes seem to soften, for some reason – or maybe that’s just in his head. Either way, he seems concerned. 

“Look, I know,” Robert sighs, “I’ll try to cut down the alcohol.”

“I know it hasn’t been easy for you, Robert, so–”

“Don’t fucking try to lecture me, Saul.”

Saul sighs and looks away, and Robert immediately feels bad. He’s just been trying to avoid this conversation with anyone, but hell, Saul was there with him, and if anything, he got the short end of the stick. 

“...you haven’t been sleeping well too, have you?”

Robert takes Saul’s hand in his – he then notices how weird this gesture must seem, although it felt like the right thing to do just a few seconds ago, and quickly considers pulling away–

But Saul holds his hand firmly and sighs. 

“It’s just hard to sleep when your stomach hurts everytime you move, you know?” Saul sighs, “Does your scar hurt?”

“Not anymore, it’s not that deep of a wound.”

They both fall silent again. Robert can’t help but… feel a bit awkward. He doesn’t really know what to tell Saul – should he apologize? Try to comfort him? None of them seem like the appropriate option…

He wonders what Saul’s thinking right now. Maybe he, too, is trying to put together something to say. 

“Robert, can we… start again?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not trying to say what happened doesn’t matter, but maybe we shouldn’t… think about it too much,” Saul said, “I know it’s unpleasant for both of us, so I don’t want to think about it anymore, but I still want to be friends with you, Robert.”

Robert just sighs, but Saul’s looking at him like sad puppy. 

He wouldn’t be in this mess if he’d listened to Robert and left him alone... and here he is despite everything that happened, saying he still wants to be friends with Robert...

“...are you dumb or what, Saul?” 

“Maybe I am.”

“Oh, fuck…”

Robert leans over to hug Saul. Saul seems a bit surprised at this show of intimacy, but a few seconds later he wraps his arms around Robert. It feels so comfortable, and so safe in Saul’s arms...

“Fine,” Robert mutters, “I love you too, asshole.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU FOR STICKING WITH ME EVERYONE I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS STORY!!!


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